Severus Snape and the secrets of time

Chapter 12: confessions

Now that they had made up their minds, there was a lot of work to do. They had to choose a date to go back to, and a place to live once they got there. They needed to have plenty of time to establish unquestionable identities, to be seen and recognized as someone other than themselves. Five years? More? But they needed to look old enough to pass for young adults, especially Severus, who still looked a bit like a boy at twenty one.

Another obstacle was, they didn't want to adversely affect anyone wherever they established their lives. They decided they would go back to 1975 and attempt to start over. They would be fifteen. They would be pushing it, and Severus would go back through the last half of puberty, but it would give them enough time to establish lives, separate from their own. They decided they would find a little plot of land, long abandoned or unused, just outside a busy little town, miles from their former lives. No one would know them. They would build a house, and live fully integrated under new names and ages.

Exchanging the muggle money was much easier this time, as there weren't as many safeguards and questions in 1981 as there had been in 1998. They also decided to go back several months, so Lily could go to Gringotts.

Lily seemed so hesitant, always finding something else they needed to do before going back in time, that Severus told her not to worry about it. He would get a job as soon as they arrived, there was no need for her to go to Gringotts if she didn't want to.

A little more than two weeks after they had started to plan, Lily seemed to shrug off her sadness and made up her mind it was time to go. Once they had gone back the couple months, all of her hesitation seemed to evaporate and she walked out of Gringotts with more money than Severus had ever seen in his whole life. She kept asking him if it would be enough and piling more into the pocket they were using. It was about ten times everything he had ever earned in his entire life, combined. He got the sense that she had forgotten what it was really like to not have more than enough. He was once again reminded of just how inadequate he felt in comparison to James, who spoiled her extravagantly, without ever having to fear for tomorrow. He found himself wishing it had been him who died at that door instead. James could give Lily so much more than he could ever hope to.

They packed everything they thought they could get away with, and some they didn't, including many of Lily's pictures and personal items, into the pocket of his fathers old coat. It had always been a little big on him. Now with enough supplies to last them almost a year stuffed into the pocket, it felt, for the first time, a little tight. They stood just outside of the ring of trees, he put his arms around her in a tight hug, and she smiled up at him and turned the large time turner six times.

When she stopped turning it, he realized he had gone from being six inches taller than her, to being an inch shorter. His trousers, that a moment ago fit him perfectly, were now so loose they were almost falling off. Lily's hair had gone from being halfway down her back, to being shoulder length, and her clothes were also loose, but not as much so.

Severus quickly pulled out his wand and began altering their clothes to fit them. Lily couldn't help giggling at the absurdity of the fit of Severus' former clothes on his now tiny frame. He pulled out the mirror and looked at his reflection. Looking back at him was a small teenage boy. There was no way he could ever pass for as much as sixteen, much less eighteen.

Using magic, he gave himself a small beard and mustache, to age and disguise himself. It worked a little, but it didn't look very believable, and it was still absurd to think that he was more than a year older than he was. He wore his hair up under a cap with a brightly colored fitted shirt, and retained his more mature mannerisms and speech patterns in order to set himself apart from his other self. Lily cut her hair in a different style, and wore dark, rich colors.