[Name] the Friendly Vampire~! }{KH/FF}{

How to kill a Vampire with Zack Fair.

''Vampires. They suck blood to sustain themselves. It can be either human or animal, but human is preferred. And when the target their next victim, little to nothing can stop them. However, I, Vampire Hunter Zack Fair, shall give you tips on how to defend yourselves,'' the younger man began; much like some suspicious merchant with fake goods.

Why was your companion being an idiot?

Well, that came naturally to him. Unfortunately, you didn't get to continue that trail of thought as he continued his lesson to you and your other travelling companion. Said companion was lazing about, absorbed in his tattered book to pay much attention to the other man's antics.

''1. Scatter beads, sand, rice; anything small in large quantities, around you and in front of your home. Vampires are obsessed with counting and it will distract them long enough for you to get away.''

''If that were true, I'd have counted your brain cells by now,'' you commented offhandedly; relaxing back against a tree in the afternoon sun.

A cooking pot was currently simmering away with the males dinner in it; human food not quite to your tastes. You all set up camp a little while back, leaving the rest of your journey till tomorrow when you'd reach an actual town with an inn. Even with your abilities, it was dodgy traveling at night.

''Not true, he doesn't have any [Name],'' the eldest male; Sephiroth, inputted.

Funny, you didn't think he was listening all that much. Nonetheless however, Zack continued on; unperturbed.

''No one asked for your opinion Seph. Now, tip 2. Keep religious artifacts on your person at all time. It scares them and if touched, will hurt them. Same with holy water.''

''Their kind of ticklish actually,'' you mused, humans could be such fools.

''Sush. Number 3. Having a wooden stake on you is a must. When they get close, stabbing them in the heart will kill them.''

''Stabbing anyone in the heart will kill them.''

The youngest of you three just stared at you,''... Do you ever shut up?''

''Not really.''

''Whatever,'' the ravenette sighed, ''And if all else fails, tip number 4. Last till sunrise, it will kill them instantly before they are blown away with the wind.''

''Zack, I'm sitting in broad daylight,'' you deadpanned.

''Yeah well, your that 1% no one likes,'' he stated patronisingly.

''Now that's a burn,'' the older man laughed.

''No one wants your opinion Seph,'' you sighed.

A/N And that's that. This was originally the description but I decided to move it. I figured this would be a better idea to start with then what I began to write. Please rate 1 to 10; one being lowest and all. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed~

Scary~