golden | A HARRY STYLES NOVEL

"Hoping You'll Come Around"

Chapter 18.

Harry's Perspective. Future.

To Darby Anna Eden,

I know you hate when I use all of your names but desperate times call for desperate measures. I know you'll think that was cliché, I feel like it's the only way to reach you for some reason. I also don't really know how to go about saying this. I miss you?

Back To Present Day, Darby's Perspective

Lost With You by Patrick Watson

"I miss you." His gravelly voice was amplified over the phone, I laid flat on my back on my bed, lazily holding the phone up to my ear.

"Don't say that." I blushed, shaking my head. "Why not?"

"Because you don't." I pulled myself up to sit, my laughing making it difficult. This was only for a second before I decided to get dressed for the day. I set the phone down on a stool in my room and set it to speaker. I pulled a simple pink t-shirt over my head as he spoke again, "You're mistaken because I am here recording, or supposed to be, and you are at home just now waking up. We're not in the same place, therefore..."

"Stop missing me, H, I've never been a missable person." I reminded him, eyebrows raising with partial sarcasm. I listened closely to his distant laughs over the phone. Even his laugh was pretty, but I didn't mean it as a joke.

"Tell me about your day." I pulled on a pair of paled orange suit pants and tucked the light pink tee into it. The outfit reminded me of some cartoon character, but my mind failed to put together what exactly that was.

"Nothing much has happened, We only reserved the studio for two hours today so I'll be out soon. When you're up and ready I was thinking we could go swim." His voice was casual, a kind of laid back that you could only be with a close friend. Or maybe that was just how he normally talked to people, he did have some sort of way of making everyone feel like his best friend. Either way it made me smile.

"Absolutely... I have work until 2 today and I'm currently," I checked the time, "almost late." It was almost 10am, and I only was scheduled to work part-time today. Anna was flexible as well. "Anna is flexible, we can plan on 2, is that alright?"

"Can't wait." I heard his smile through the phone.

"I don't have to hang up yet either... still have to walk there." I said, becoming shy. "Thank goodness because I wanted to tell you about this secret show idea I have..." And off he went, instantly bringing me comfort. I hated that he did, I should be able to do it for myself. I do, if you think about it. Writing and such. I'm fine, then. Yeah.

I didn't want him to feel that responsibility for me though? It's not his problem, it's mine. He shouldn't have to care for me... in that way. He still doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

And the day was coming. It was July now, it had been for a couple of weeks, but this day was just now coming to attack me. I put up the strongest walls I could. It had been a long time, people say that heals them. It doesn't, it just gives you room to forget. My Dad, and it was so long ago that my mind has nothing to hold onto, he... gave up.

"That sounds so cool, Harry. Definitely do it. But maybe write the songs first." I was a little zoned out but I tried not to make it obvious. "I'm almost done, I think."

"You think... so you're not." "Darby, are you okay?"

I don't think I realized that my tone had completely changed, I felt horrible. "I'm just a little out of it today, I'm sorry." I almost let out a cry, a little humph followed by a sniff.