Fragile | ✓

0.9 | Paybacks Well Deserved

Pointing us towards the couch, he directed me to sit down and then turned to Eli. "Would you mind waiting outside during the session?"

"Of course," Eli said softly, offering me a reassuring smile before turning around to exit the room once again.

'Clearly you didn't expect to be left alone in this room with this dude,' a voice in my head claimed and I almost laughed at the truthfulness of the voice.

"Jessica, is it? Well, I'm Dr. Aaron." The therapist smiled warmly at me and pulled up the brown foldable chair that previously sat at the corner of the room. I nodded, wringing my hands together on my lap and biting my bottom lip. "Okay, to start our-" he looked down at the fancy watch strapped near the wrist of his hand. "One hour session. Jessica, this is a safe space and anything you say, no matter if I write it down or not, will not be shared. I'm not going to force you to speak, that's all up to you though I want to help you and if you talk, I can help you." He seemed genuine enough, a gentle smile on his face and slouching slightly in his chair. I nodded once again, still not knowing what he expected of me. "So, tell me a little about yourself. Who is Jessica Willens?"

"M-my full n-name is Jessica Jane Willens."

"Okay, what is your favorite thing to do, Jessica?" He prodded calmly leaning forward, not seemingly bothered at my stuttering.

"I like to draw and read."

"Draw? Wow! I was never much of an artist, are you good?"

"Uh-" My cheeks turned bright as I looked towards the ground. Dad had taught me to draw and when living with my mother, drawing was my escape. Whenever she came home drunk, making out with her new boyfriend of the day, I ran over to my room not wanting to show her how much it bothered me that she wouldn't even ask me how my day was. I would sit under my blankets with a flashlight standing up by the covers in my small attic room, drawing for hours on end. Drawing nature scenes were my favorite. It showed me how big the world was and how there was so much more to explore, so much more to see. I would draw the never ending sky and wish laying in bed that I was able to touch those clouds of my imagination, not on the sheet but in real life. "Kind of," I reply vaguely.

"That's awesome, Jessica!" Dr. Aaron replied enthusiastically. "Well, this next question may be a little personal but I'm going to ask you, why do you think you are here? And don't just say because your brother-?" He looked to me for confirmation and I met his eyes for just a second to nod. "-Okay, brother told you to come."

I'm here because my life sucks. I'm here because my mother was a horrible excuse for a mom. I'm here because the person I loved died and it's all my fault. I'm here because I feel like I love my brothers but I don't know if I'm capable of loving. I'm here because I'm broken.

But out loud, I only say, "Because I had a nightmare." Dr. Aaron looks at me with a raised eyebrow, as if he wants me to elaborate but I shake my head. Maybe someday I would be ready to talk to him but that day was not today.

Who knows what he would think of me if he knew I killed my dad?

"Alright, that's no problem! We'll start slow. So, tell me, do you enjoy baking?"

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And that's how the rest of the hour went by. Dr. Aaron asked me questions and me answering, sometimes one word answers and sometimes elaborate answers. The questions were never too deep, just general questions about myself and as much as I hate to admit it, not as bad as I thought it would be.

"Okay and that's time! Jessica, it was amazing meeting you and I'll see you next week, right?"

"Yup! Thank you, Dr. Aaron!" He grins widely at me and waves as I step towards the door. Eli stands near the door, leaning on the wall and scrolling through his phone with a bored look glooming over his face. 'Scare him,' a devil voice in my head speaks. Agreeing with the voice, I grin mischievously and tip toe over to behind the chair. I jump on his back in piggy bank form and his head jerks up in surprise. Seeing it's only me on his back, he smirks as I laugh at him teasingly.

"Now time for payback, young lady!" He declares as he pushes the door to the office open with me still holding tight on his back. I scream, 'put me down' as he spins me around in circles. "Fine, you wanna go down, right now, 1... 2... 3." And at the end of the countdown, he drops me on the sidewalk.

"That hurt!" I claim while rubbing my butt and attempting to stand up again while Eli laughs his head off unsympathetically before 'sashaying' over to the car.

"Paybacks well deserved, my love!" 

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Author's Note: Today's Diwali so to those of you who celebrate it, Happy Diwali!

Written with much love as always!,

Galaxyaway