Stay (Tronnor)

The meet up

He takes off his jacket and shoes, and sits on the couch for a minute. "I don't want to be sticky, but I just really don't feel like sleeping on the couch tonight, Con da bon" I think for a second. "Well, you can sleep in my bed, if you want" I kind of knew that was what he was going for. "Thanks Con" He just says, and we both go to my bedroom. I smile. Troye takes his clothes off, apparently, he is going to sleep next to me in his boxers. I can feel my cheeks blushing when i accidentally imagine his naked skin against mine. 

He crawls under the duvet in the left side of my bed. That's where i usually lie, but whatever. I crawl under the duvet to Troye, and think for a minute. Then I lay my arm around him and we spoon. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it. "Connor?" Troye asks with his sleepy voice. "Yeah?" a couple seconds pass before he answers. "I think... I think I might be falling for you" His voice is shaking, and I know it took a lot of courage to tell me that. I can't explain how happy and lucky I feel just now. He really feels the same way. I know we've kissed, but to hear him say it out loud just makes me realize, what it actually means.

He turns his head to see my reaction, and a smile shows on his beautiful face, when he sees the expression on my face that can barely be anything but love. Troye turned towards me, and I pulled him close and kissed him intensely. Troye responds the kiss, and his hands start stroking down my back, then my spine. I roll on top of him, and he pulls back for a second, and look me in the eyes. 

"Troye" I whisper, a little out of breath. I start kissing him on the neck, moving towards his collar bone, until I find the right spot. Little moans start coming out of his mouth, and he whispers my name. I love it when he does that. I feel his fingers fiddling with the top of my boxers. I immediately get really nervous. Am I ready for this? a few days ago I didn't even know I was gay. But as soon as the thought has crossed my mind, I remind myself that that is not true. I have known for years, I've just been denying it. I am ready for this, I want him, I know it by of the buzzing feeling of pleasure i get evrytime he touches me. Everytime he even just says my name, or looks at me. 

That is the moment I realize that this, this feeling, is true love. I want nothing else but to have him by my side for the rest of my life. But I am pretty sure, he is not ready for this infromation, so I decide to keep it to myself for a while, just until it won't scare him, or make him run away. 

Troye's hands are shaking so much that he can't even get hold of the braiding of my boxers, so I pull back and takes his shaking hands. "Troye, are you sure you are ready for this?" I could see the shame in his eyes, when he said. "I'm sorry, Connor, I've just never done anything like this before" I send him a smile filled with love and understanding, and roll down from him. "No worries, Tro, it's totally okay. Really" I kiss him one last time, and we go back to spooning. I know I was excited for this, but if he is not ready, I am not going to push him. It is different for him, he's a virgin. I have been in bed with about five girls, even though I didn't feel anything for them. I don't like it, but it's true. And they didn't even have a chance, there was no way I could fall for eny of them. Cause even back then, I was gay. I have always been, even though I've tried to deny it. 

The next day runs by slowly. Troye has four business meetings to go to, so he doesn't come back before around midnight, and nothing much happens. I film a new video, cause I have literally nothing else to do, I go shopping and three runs. I don't know why, but running has always helped me clear my mind, and I really need that right now. I feel like Troye is avoiding me, he hasn't even texted or called me this entire day. It's now 11pm and Troye is not home. I am watching some stupid Tvshow, but I am not paying attention. All I can think about is Troye. I don't know if I will survive being rejected by him. And the chance of him falling in love with me like this is one in a million. I don't know what to do, I have never been in a situation that just somewhat could be compared to this.