"I'm just like you"

5

All night Louis tried to sleep but thoughts about Harry kept coming to his mind. He had come back to the room and Eleanor was, luckily, asleep so he didn't have to explain or tell anything to her or kiss her or watch her in the eyes. He had Harry's taste on the lips and didn't want to lose it, and his mind hold tightly the memory of Harry's green bright eyes, Harry's red cheeks and Harry's mouth. Louis missed him. At the same time, he didn't want to leave Eleanor because he knew people would have talked, and he was sure she didn't deserve to feel pain. 

Louis went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror: he had deep eye bags, messy hair, and the look of someone who had seen a ghost. Or maybe, who had kissed a ghost.

He took a shower and fixed his hair, trying to hide his eye bags with some Eleanor's make up. He always woke up before her, so she had just gotten up when Louis exited the bathroom, clean and polished. "'Morning El" he said, trying to smile. "Good morning LouLou" she answered, kissing him and then going to the bathroom to dress and prepare herself. Louis sat on the mattress, sighing. How could he had done that? How could he have kissed Harry, with Eleanor unaware? How could he kiss a boy, when everyone looked at everything he did every day? Louis ran his fingers through his hair, feeling a shiver once he realised that Harry's hand had been there. Then he touched slowly his lips, trying to feel Harry's press again, just once, but all he could feel was Eleanor's kiss. And maybe, it was better that way.

Eleanor and Louis got out the hotel avoiding the paps, taking the car that was waiting for them to arrive at the charity found. Louis smiled. At least, he could do something good, for a change. Out the found, fans were screaming and Louis hold Eleanor's hand but immediately left it: for a moment, he had felt Harry's large hand. They entered the palace and spent some time giving some interviews, then played with the kids of the found for the rest of the morning. Louis was feeling extraordinarily well, because he thought that, maybe, he could deserve the forgiveness. Of whom, he didn't know. 

After lunch, Louis and Eleanor went at the hotel and Louis took hundreds of pics with the fans, signing some autographs and even doing his typical gesture, the middle finger, but smiling or people would have thought that he was angry or something. Which he was, actually, but nobody should have had known. 

They took off at 6pm of 15th December and arrived at 5am. All the trip Louis had faked he was sleeping, but he had, obviously, thought of Harry, he always thought of Harry.

Louis went straight out, even if Eleanor had asked him to come home to 'stay a bit alone'. Louis tried to convince himself that he'd like to have sex with Eleanor, but the harsh (or soft) truth was that he'd never desire anyone as he desired Harry. They had just kissed, but Louis had felt so many sensations he'd never felt with a whole night with Eleanor. He secretly hoped he'd see Harry, thought he kept telling himself he was out to see his friends.

He arrived at the pub even though it was just 6am and found it open, with Niall inside laughing and apparently drunk. "Nialler" he called "I'm back." Niall hugged him, but he hardly could keep his eyes opened. "Louis, what a pleasure! I hope you had fun with your friend" the barman said. "Which friend?" Niall asked. "That curly one of last night" the barman replied, cleaning glasses. Louis blushed. "Uhm-" "He came here to drink and told me he'd come to LA to stay there for just two days" the barman explained. "He went there fo Louehh!" Niall said. Louis blushed again. "No, he has a job there and family" he tried to explain. "I think he went there for you too" the barman said, with a funny look. "Maybe, we're friends" Louis hesitated. Niall chuckled with no reason. "Okay then..." the barman turned, smirking. Louis felt embarrassed, so he murmured a 'see ya' to the two men and exited the pub.

While he was walking thought the streets of London, with some fallen leaves under his feet, pretending to wander when he was actually waiting for Harry to appear suddenly, something that Niall had said came to his mind. 'He told me he'd come to LA just for two days.' Just as Louis. And he'd probably taken off an airplane before or after his private jet. So why wasn't he already in London? Why wasn't he with him, making him laugh and, maybe...kissing him? Maybe he had decided he shouldn't have kissed Louis at all.