"I'm just like you"

11

When Louis woke up, his head hurt so bad he could barely get up from his bed. No, that wasn't his bed, and that wasn't his house! He quickly looked around, but then, suddenly, he felt two strong arms hugging him from behind, and Harry's head laid on his shoulder. Harry smiled and Louis felt a twist in his stomach. "Good morning Lou" he said, and Louis turned to look at him, blushing. "What-what happened yesterday evening?" he asked, looking down. Harry smiled even more. "Don't worry, you were drunk and I brought you here, but we didn't do anything" he reassured. "Not that I'd be sorry" Louis murmured, and Harry chuckled, pecking him on the lips. "Come now, I've got breakfast" Harry said excitedly, holding him from an arm. Louis chuckled sheepishly and followed him. He had never known that cute side of Harry and he quite liked it. Harry gave him a plate with two pancakes and blue syrup. Louis was surprised. "It looks like a magazine dish" he said, and Harry's cheeks became slightly red. "Thanks" he said lowly, then drank from his tea cup.

Just before lunch Louis exited Harry's house, even if they both didn't want it, and didn't even kissed him, because he knew that then he'd never left. He came home to Eleanor and reassured her.

Days passed and Louis' life was always the same. He lied to everyone and he saw Harry on secret little rendezvous.

He felt bad. He felt a big hole where his heart should have been and he always wanted to cry and shout but never could. His song for Eleanor, he planned on singing it to leave her, and his song for Harry were ready, and he was now working on another song, that well explained how he felt. He knew Simon would have never approved it, but he had decided to sing it anyway. 

That day, it was the 23rd December, he wanted his friends to meet Harry. He just put on a smile and kept telling himself he was okay, though he wasn't and he knew that.

He arrived at his usual pub and saw that his friends were already there. He waved at the barman and sat with them, waiting for Harry. He just smiled while his friends were telling stupid jokes and he really didn't want to see Harry, but he had to, he knew that. He saw a high man entering the pub and Louis got up, smiling at him, but ignoring him at the same time. His friends looked excited and immediately cheered the curly one. "You must be Harry" "Louis told us everything about you" "He's prettier than I'd imagined" "You two are so cute" Louis sighed, but Harry chuckled and didn't look bothered by his noisy friends. On the other hand, he did look bothered by Louis ignoring him. He decided to talk to him once they were alone, to not ruin that apparently perfect evening.

Zayn, Niall and Liam were gone, and Louis was looking down, walking through the streets of London without holding Harry's hand. Harry scoffed. "What now?" Louis looked at him, nervous. "If you don't have intentions to talk to me, I may as well go" Harry said, hoping that Louis would stop him. But he didn't. And Harry left, leaving Louis with a heart just-a-bit-more-broken.

"I have the songs" he announced to Eleanor and Simon that night. Simon smiled and Eleanor kissed him. "Very well, Louis. Let me see" Simon said. Louis shook his head. "I want to sing songs that no one has heard before" he said. Simon was clearly trying to control himself. "What is that? A new idea of yours? No way, let me see" Simon ordered. Louis shook his head. "What's the worst that can happen, Simon? I'm sure Louis didn't write anything particular" Eleanor tried to say. Louis was grateful because she helped him, but at the same time he knew that Harry would've defended him, no matter what. 

Simon nodded, as trying to think quickly. He couldn't be the evil man he was in that moment, because there was Eleanor, and even if Louis was glad of that, he wanted Harry at her place. 

"Okay then. But be sure you didn't write anything...you will regret" Simon threatened. Louis rolled his eyes. "After this concert, Simon, you and I will work separately" he announced. Simon had a mad look in his eyes, almost...wild. "You're just saying dumbshit" Simon said, even though he looked nervous. Louis smiled, peaceful as he hadn't been in days. "Oh no. I am, for once in my life, sure of what I want. Twenty five and it's all planned...is something I don't want to live with anymore." Simon was angry, and Louis could see it, but didn't care at all. The man left their house.

"Are you sure that's what you want, love?" Eleanor asked gently. Louis sighed. He had to do this. "I'm sure, but don't call me love" he said. Eleanor looked confused. "What? You prefer LouLou, or-" "No, I prefer you not calling me with nicknames. What I'm trying to say is-" "Are you leaving me?" Eleanor asked, a hurt voice, tears in her eyes. Louis' heart broke a bit more. "I'm sorry Eleanor. I truly care about you, and I'll never thank you enough for what you've done to me, but" "But you love someone else" she completed, with an upset tone. At least, Louis was sure she was strong enough, that way. He nodded. "Thank you too. I just hope you truly loved me, at least...before, because I know that it's been a while" she said. "I did love you" he assured. She wiped the tears off her face. "I'm just gonna go" he said, but Eleanor stopped him. "This house is mine, but you need some rest for the concert..." Louis was astonished: that girl truly was an angel. "Thank you, Eleanor, but you don't have to do that" "Call me Elly, don't worry. And I do need to do that. From tomorrow we'll separate our lives" she announced, before leaving the apartment.

In just one evening, Louis had ruined everything he got, but at the same time he knew he had to do that, for Harry, but most of all for himself. Then, why did he still feel so broken?