Wish I Were Heather || Jaeyong

Time Apart

Taeyong POV

I stood there, staring him right in the eye and tapping my foot, waiting for him to start talking. I watched him stammer and stutter, trying to figure out how the hell he's going to explain himself.

"I-I don't know Taeyong, if I'm being honest," he said finally, breaking the intense silence. "I know you want the truth so I'll tell you what I understand."

"I get it Jae, but you have to realize that I'm not gonna let you do this to me anymore. I can't let you get away with kissing me while you have a girlfriend, or being jealous of San and me, any of it." I said like I was scolding a child.

"I know, and you deserve those answers, not some half assed explanation that I make up on the spot. But I don't have those answers, and I need time to figure out myself and what to tell you. Right now, I'm just so incredibly confused and flustered. I need to talk to Heather, I cheated on her and she deserves someone who has their shit together. I need to think about you, and why I did the things I did. But while I'm doing that.. I think you should stay away from me. I made a promise that I'd never be the cause of your sadness again and I broke it. I don't want to hurt you anymore." Jaehyun replied, furrowing his eyebrows.

My heart wrenched at having to leave his side again. I know it's for the best but, even the thought of waking up and knowing we will not see each other, or going through my day without his beautiful smile and wonderful laughs, and not talking to him, not hearing his voice everyday makes me almost shed a tear. He is my coping mechanism, my warmth, the reason I can get up. What would I do without him? What will he do without me? Will we slowly fall more and more apart without each other?

"I agree, I understand you need some time and I respect it. Maybe we do need to be apart for a while." I gulped down my sobs and blinked away my tears, putting on my mask of being fine. Like usual.

Watching him walk away felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest, and I wanted to run up and shake him back to his senses. I wanted to scream at him and tell him that I can't be apart from him, that he was selfish for asking that of me. I wanted him to turn around and grab me in his strong arms and tell me that he loves me, that he has all along and we don't need time apart because he can finally see that it's me he wants. I wanted to yell and tell him that he's an idiot. That he knows, he knows that all along I've been the one he wanted, not Heather, not any one of those girls. Me.

But I can't. And he won't.

And it's killing me.