Wish I Were Heather || Jaeyong

Thinking About A Plan

Jaehyun POV

Why does everything have to go wrong around me? I was finally in a happy, healthy relationship and my last one has to go and ruin it. I really don't want to come out. I know that if I did, some things would definitely be better.. But some things would also be much worse. I can't go back to being bullied as badly as I was in middle school. I've grown so much both physically and mentally since those times. People actually like me now and the thought of that breaking into pieces makes me extremely anxious. I've worked so hard for my life to be where it is and it would have been for nothing if this gets out of hand.

God.. What about my friends? What would they think? I haven't told them about anything. Some of them aren't the most supportive people in the world, and others just never talk about it so I wouldn't know. I think somehow not knowing is worse. At least I could prepare for a negative reaction.

I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it. This is all too much at the same time. I can't deal with this right now. I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it.

But if I don't then Heather will never get what she deserves and Taeyong and I will continue being alienated. If Heather can make everyone hate us without a reason then I don't want to think about what else she could do.

I thought she was an angel at first, but now I can't understand at all why I loved her when Taeyong was right in front of me. I wish I could go back and scream at my naïve younger self and tell him what an idiot he was (maybe even punch him in the gut). He, no I hurt Taeyong so much and I don't think I can ever forgive myself, or even make up for what I did. So maybe I should come out. Maybe it would be the best for the both of us and he could finally get some peace. Maybe this is how I make it up to him.

But I know that's a bad way to think, I need to come out for me, not anyone else. I think that Taeyong will understand that. I don't want everyone to know under these circumstances. It should be when I'm ready and when I want to. I shouldn't have to be forced out of the closet by my ex girlfriend who is having a bit (understatement of the year) of a temper tantrum. That's just not how life works, no matter how she thinks it works.

Heather thinks the world revolves around her and everything will go perfectly her way. I want so badly to prove that isn't true. She needs to understand that she will be the one in the wrong sometimes and she isn't like this higher power, above the rest of us. But how do I do this without coming out to everyone?

I know, why can't I just tell the principal and no one else? Because I'm in college with 6,000 other students who are all dying to get their hands on some juicy information. The word is bound to get out and kick me in the face.

So, what do we do? Even if we were to go to the headmistress of our school, she couldn't do anything about it without proof. We also aren't guaranteed she would even believe us in the first place, pretty much everyone is wrapped around Heather's finger, which included me at one point.

The plan is to expose Heather, anonymously, and get her to stop with the pitting others against each other trope. It's time to scheme. The perfect person for that?

Ten.