S H E H N A A Z
Dream. This five-letter word holds up a lot more important than just the mere meaning. All of us have dreams. Some are huge and difficult to fulfill while some are little and easy to achieve. The happiness we get when we are successfully able to accomplish our dream and reach our goal happiness is at a different level altogether.
It's probably said correctly. A girl is way more mature than a guy. Probably at least in the case of relationships most of the time. I guess it was time I realize that my feelings for Sidharth were much more than just friendship. I liked him as the person he was not just because he was my best frie
As much as I wanted to tell him about how he meant much more than a friend, I had to stop myself from doing so. As I told before, the five-letter word 'dream' stopped me from telling it to him.He was going away and I don't think a long distance was possible for us. Here, I am thinkinh about relationship and I don't even know if he likes me.
Life's much better than it used to be before. There are a little after math affects of the virus and we still restricted ourselves from going outside since, maybe it had left our house but, not the world. A little thing to worry is that I have been getting a moderate level anxiety. That's alright , I am already working hard to make it better.
"What's up panda" he said as he smacked my head.
"I know I am a little fat but,that doesn't mean that you call me a panda"I pouted.
"Along with being fat , pandas are cute too. So why don't you take in a positive way like you always ask me to" he asked.
I was lost in my thoughts and didn't give him an answer.
"Shehnaaz , are you alright?" he asked as he kept his hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah. What happened?" I asked.
"Nothing. You seem to be a little a lot of times these days. Is soemthing bothering you?" he asked.
"No nothing" I said blankly.
"Let's play a game , I will read out a certain questions and we both give our respective answers for it" I said raising my eyebrow.
It was our thing just to chill and ask each other the most random questions while sitting on yellow bench on out floor terrace.
"Cool. Ask" he said.
"One thing that happened the best to you in 2020?" I asked.
"College Admissions. It was a dream come true" he said with a wide smile on his fandce.
"What's yours?" he asked literally screaming into my years.
"Why are you shouting Sidharth?" I screamed back at him.
"I have been asking you the same thing for the fourth time Sana. You were lost in your thoughts" he said.
"Oh. I am sorry, Ya so for me it's my new mac book. That Mom & Dad gifted me. It's like my little friend.I can study on it, binge watch on it and write down my thoughts on my personal diary app too" I said and made the usual 'hmm' sound.
"One thing that you don't like about youself?" I asked him the question.
"I get a little too excited sometimes" he said truthfully.
"Sometimes I am too available for the people who don't deserve " I said.
"Is that a reference to me?" he asked.
"No not all" I looked up to him."Why would you think that though" I asked.
"I don't know you have just been acting a little weird these days.Like you just got mad at me for not texting you back or not picking up your phone for a few times even though it was unintentionally but, it was bad na" he said cutely.
"No No. Don't worry. If it was something like that then I would tell it to your face. I would never throw shade at you like that" I smiled at him.
"One thing that you would like everyone to have that's in you" I asked.
"To not to overthink much and be chill a bit more chill about stuff. What about you?" he asked.
"To be able to sleep like a cat that is over 14 hours" I laughed.
"What?" he laughed along.
"One thing that annoys the most about people" I asked.
"Superiority complex" he said and raised his brows at me to answer him back.
"People who lie" I said honestly.
"Why didn't you write people who take a long time to text or call back a.k.a me" he asked maintaing a straight face.
"Ya bitch, you can add that too" I said as the both of us laughed.
"Are you crushing on someone at present ?" I asked him gathering all my guts. it was always so easy for me to ask him anything like that but, I don't know why this time I was so petrified or actually I knew. I knew I liked him and his answer will affect me a lot more than it would only to a best friend.
"Nope" he answered.
My brain again began to over think. To be honest it over thought more because it affected my heart too.
"Okay.Sidharth ,I need to go to bed early today and finish off some work too before that , so we will continue this later" I said as I got up.
"Alright. If you say so.Sweet dream panda" he smiled.
"I am not fat" I reverted.
"When did I say that?" he asked.
"You will not understand.Bye" I said and went back home.
I went back home and began writing to my diary.
Shehnaaz's Personal Diary
Dear Diary,
I have been dealing with a lot of stress at present.I get very anxious at the slighest possible thing.I don't feel like myself a lot of times.I cry a lot than I used to.Infact , I have tears in my eyes at present too.Everytime I meet someone I have a plastered smile on my face.I know it my sound very cliche but, it does get too much for me a lot of times.
Inspite of having almost everything, I feel like I have nothing. I know I am fat. I always plan to loose weight but, I am never sucessfull at that because I keep procrastinating it all the time.
That's not the only thing. You know today Sidharth told me that he doesn't crush on anyone at present and I am here like an idiot letting my feelings increase for him.
Nowadays, when I cry my heart beats increase.I feel breatheless a lot of times.I get minor anxiety attacks and the sad part is I can't speak to anyone about it.I can't went it out to anyone. I can't tell about it to my parents even if I am very close to them.They won't understand this. I can not even tell Sidharth about this.So, I am writing this to you. Anyways, I will try and catch a little sleep , I have to get up a little early tomorrow.
xoxo
Shehnaaz <3
[ A u t h o r ' s N o t e ]
Hii Guys. I know it's been a week since, I last wrote. I am so sorry. Nevermind , here's a new chapter.Hope you all like it! :)
Anxiety is a very common thing. We all face it and sometimes, don't even realize about it. It gets difficult to convery to others about what we feel. I am sure you all have faced at any point of life and I have faced it too. You all can share your views and experiences in the comments too. No judgemnts I promise. Just thought it would be relatable and deceied to make it a part of the story too.I am sure that add a little more realness to my story too.
Do vote,comment & share.
See you guys soon <3
Lots of love,
Diya
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Always Together
Fanfiction• [ W R I T I N G ] • A girl who hated cliche love stories but, still believed in true love. A guy who hid his emotions from everyone but, each time ended up in showing his most vulnerable to her. It's a story of two best friends falling in love Wh...
