Be My Baby Boy

You kill me Dead

Peter should have known that the Avengers wouldn't exactly embrace Wade. 

Tony Stark had called Peter for backup to Central Park and instead of doing what they were there to do they stood around arguing. 

"Deadpool? You want Deadpool to join us on this mission?" Captain America asked, his voice incredulous. 

"He's like a one man army," Peter said. "He's been helping me on my nightly patrol and he's saved my life multiple times."

"That's very nice, Peter, but he kills people for money," Tony chipped in. "I have a folder as thick as your arm—"

"I'm right here," Wade whined, but they all ignored him.

"Has he killed anyone lately, mr Stark?" Peter snapped. He never snapped at Tony.

"No..." Tony said slowly, cocking his head. He was in full Iron Man suit, his helmet under his arm, looking very stern.

"He promised he wouldn't and he doesn't. You said it yourself, we need more firepower, with half the Avengers in Namibia on that rescue mission," Peter said.

"And Banner is dissecting one of these beasts in the lab to find out where they came from," Sam added.

"Fine! But he's your responsibility," Tony growled.

Peter's smile was radiant even through his mask and Tony frowned. There was something else here...

Wade skipped happily forward and squeezed Sam Wilson's butt in passing. "Cool bird suit, Sparrow!"

"It's Falcon!" Sam's indignant shout went unheeded. "Dammit," he growled and followed Wade.

"Super hero Sam Wilson. Anti hero Wade Wilson. No relation," Wade said and flashed a card at a harassed looking beat cop guarding the perimeter.

"That's a library card, Deadpool," Sam pointed out. His metal wings twitched. 

"Libraries are awesome! They hold all the magic inside," Wade said, preppy and perky like a puppy. He bounced off, his arm around Sam's shoulder dragging him with him. Sam shrugged the arm off, growling as Wade cackled with glee and ran after the nearest rabid creature approaching the perimeter, unsheathing his katanas as he ran. Sam cursed and lifted off, heading to the other side of the area, as far from Wade as he could.

Peter laughed, making Steve and Tony's eyebrows rise. "What? He's funny." Without waiting for response, Peter thwacked a web to a nearby tree and swung into action. 

"Yeah, he fucking kills me," Tony grumbled.

Some lunatic had either opened a portal to another dimension or done something very naughty in a lab as Central Park had become overrun with rabid bunny/crab hybrids with chitinous fur, razor sharp teeth, eight limbs with three four-inch nails each and an appetite for flesh. Just looking at them made Peter's brain hurt. 

They weren't too particular what they ate either. Pigeons, Chihuahuas, joggers in neon track suits, each other, anything was game. Miraculously no dogs or joggers had died, but it had been a close call before the police had managed to evacuate the area. 

Wade laughed as he cut a swathe through the hell beasts, looking like it was the most fun he had had in years. It probably was. Peter shook his head fondly and swung to join him.

"Webs! They're hideous! I love them! Let's kill them all," Wade called to him, and pirouetted, his katanas slicing through six of the critters in one graceful arc. Peter laughed again and joined him, sending out his webs to catch the critters and pull them toward them so Wade could do his thing.