Before It Ends • Hessa • Emery Scott

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛

"Emery?" Addy questions and I nod. Damn it, she can't see me.

"Yeah..." I trail off, "Addy?" I ask the same question.

"Yep." She lets out a giggle and I can tell it's not as forced like it was when I last saw her. "Don't tell my parents I'm calling you please."

"I won't... what- what are you doing?" I stutter, a thousand questions racing inside my head.

"Well, right now I'm with Harry in an apartment." She lets out another giggle, "It's early where you are but where I am..." she trails off and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Where are you Addy?" I question and she sighs.

"I swore I wouldn't tell you, but Harry is in the bathroom and if you promise not to tell anyone then I will tell you." She quickly says and I nod my head yet again.

"Of course. I won't tell anyone." I feel my gut twist and flip at the words I'm saying.

"I'm in London." She cheers, "Harry is from here and has a friend out here with a stupid-rich dad! We're on our way to his place. Luckily none of Harry's relatives are around London. They are all spread out through England."

"Addy..." I trail off, "that's... that's so far." I mumble slowly and Addy goes silent.

"I- I know it's far but... I'm happy. I'm with Harry and he cares for me and my baby." She says in a defensive tone and I sigh.

"But London? You plan to never come back don't you?"

"Emery, I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted but you were the one who told me to do this in the first place." Addy snaps. "I thought you would be happy for me."

"I am happy for you, Ad. But London is so far and don't you want your baby to at least have some contact with your parents?" I question, quickly trying to think up reasons she should come home. If she came home, this terrible feelings will vanish and so will this burden holding me by the shoulders.

"Of course I don't. They wanted me to get rid of her-"

"Her?" I interrupt and she huffs.

"Yes, I found out the gender. Isn't that what all pregnant mothers do? They take care of their babies and find out the sex." She says, and I can tell she's getting aggravated with me. Why? What have I said? "I thought when calling you, you would be supportive and excited for me, Em."

"I am, Addy."

"Listen, I need to go. Thank you for picking up your phone this time." She says roughly and the line goes dead.

Thank you, Addy. Thank you for making me feel worse about myself. I deserve it.

COLE.

"Shit!" I screech, kicking at my desk, my chair wheeling me across the concrete until it's stopped by my rug. I let my arms go limp, the eraser falling from my right hand onto the floor with a small clunk.

Why the fuck can't I think of a song? I'm usually great at writing songs about my heartbreaks but this one is different. No bad things comes to my mind about her. It's my fault. I got myself into this shit, not her. She was doing what she always does and I was too stubborn to listen to my conscience. She doesn't like me. She used me for her own pleasure and I lined right up for it.

Why couldn't I have just listened to myself! You're not ready for another relationship. Don't get too close to her. Why couldn't I have just stayed away? Her father made it clear to stay away from her and I considered it but the next morning all of those negative thoughts about if she was okay to hang out with vanished and the need to be near her increased.

I'll say it, I was worried about her. She was drinking until drunk off her ass and was reckless as I drove her home from that party. That was only day one of knowing her, but that was enough for me to feel empathy. And no, I am not giving her pity. There was also some sort of interest in finding her out. Finding out her secrets that made her this way.

Now, I do not blame her. Shitty Chris is a psychopath and he will get what he deserves one way or another. Even though Emery and I are on bad terms, I will not let this man take over her life any longer.

Though I don't want to see it, I will admit that Emery is a lot like Lilly. Lilly was fierce and confident. She didn't care what people thought of her. Of course, she didn't party or drink as much as Emery, but she did have her own way of escaping reality. She had times where she would rebel against her parents and go adventuring with her friends.

That's actually how I met her. Back in New Hampshire, my friends and I would go to this abandoned bridge crossing a small creak. The bridge was small and was not for any cars. It was so old that the wood began to rot and there was a big hole in the middle of it. It was a miracle that that thing hadn't fallen. I wouldn't be surprised if it's destroyed now, only giving use to the beavers that pass. That is, if there are beavers around there. I had never seen one.

My friends were smoking and drinking. I have always been square in staying out of that shit. I have drank a little, but I never liked the taste like my friends did. I was mostly there to escape my shouting parents and the terrible sounds of skin on skin. Anything to get away from that.

One night, my friend Jax brought his girlfriend, and a bunch of her other friends. That's when I met Lilly. She was adventurous but, like me, she was private. She had beautiful brown hair, and always wore this bow in her hair. Her eyes were huge for her face, but I can't complain. It only gave me more to look at.

The difference between Lilly and Emery was that Lilly didn't like being alone. She was an extravert, talking to as many people as she possibly could. Guys included. She said she had anxiety, but it was only when she was home alone. People were her cure.

It didn't take long for us to go on a date. The first place I took her was a donut shop. She loves donuts. We then went on a car ride around our suburban town, playing our favorite music. She told me she had always wanted to go to New York and stay in that hotel with the wall art. She said that her mother told her she was conceived there.
I thought it was odd that she knew that, but she seemed to be happy at the thought of visiting the place she was conceived. She said she wanted to stay in the room with "no sleep til' Brooklyn." wall art. The famous song from The Beastie Boys.

She was so beautiful. Her bright smile was contagious and her laugh itself could swoon a thousand men. But she was mine, which made me feel special... like I accomplished some hard task in life. She could've chosen any man and she chose me.

But that was the problem. The fact that I had that thought stuck in my mind: she could've chosen any man. Why would she choose me? There had to have been some sort of trick involved... right?

So when her best friend gave me this idea that she had slept with almost every guy in school, I actually began to believe it. There's no way she would only pay attention to boring ol' me.

This was after months of knowing and loving her as if she was the world.

It was a mistake believing it. I confronted her and then lost her the worst way possible. Her mother found her in her room, she had taken all of her anxiety pills at once.

I had never felt so guilty in my life. She needs people and every single one of her friends betrayed her, even her boyfriend.

I wipe my eyes, shaking off the sad, guilty feeling creeping into my chest. She was a good girl and that's why the world was mean to her. I don't blame her for quitting life.

I don't blame her at all.

◉‿◉

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎

I'm sorry for such a long wait! I hope you guys are still loving this book. This chapter was sad but you've gotten some background on Cole! I'll definitely be writing some Lilly and Cole content soon. I want to expand Cole's past a little and make him a little more understandable.

I hope you guys had a good Christmas and New Years!

Chapter thirty four: Jan. 1, 2021