once we met | derek morgan. ✓

22 : pain.

"You were never gonna tell me!" I say, noticing the distance in her tone.

Jules scoffs, rolling her eyes, "You are unbelievable, Derek Morgan! You know that? Yes I was! I was going to fucking tell you! I just couldn't at the time because I found out that my father was putting my mom and little brother in Witness Protection and for all I know, they could be dead by the time I get out of this fucking hospital! This is my second hospital visit in seven weeks! Does that not fucking alarm you in any fucking way!?" She exclaims.

"It does alarm me... I have been with you during every single hospital visit because I love you! That's the whole reason I'm here! Because I fucking love you! I have been in love with you since you were eighteen!" I exclaim, my tone heavy and shaky.

Jules goes quiet, "Well, I love you too..." She mumbles, "That's the fucking problem Derek!" She exclaims.

"How is that a problem?" I ask.

"We're so fucking toxic! Our relationship revolves around me! I'm constantly in the hospital or in danger -- I'm constantly putting you in danger. I'm damaged goods... We don't work because I'm the damaged goods in the relationship. Every mistake, every problem, every single fucking mess I make, you have to clean up." She states sternly.

I shake my head, "Look at me." I state as Jules refuses, her eyes watering.

"Baby, look at me. Right at me." I state, cupping my hands over her cheeks.

"Derek..." She says, her voice shaky.

I shake my head, "Jules, baby, I love you. That's not gonna change, whether this baby comes or not. You are the reason I double check my surrounding when I'm in a room while working the case -- so I can come back home to you. I check my phone at least six times every thirty seconds while you're investigating the unsub's warehouse when Hotch won't let us work in the field together, because I'm worried you might not come home to me. You're the reason I smile at my phone, you're the reason I stopped being the dog of the BAU and stopped going after every girl. You're the only girl I want. Why can't you understand that? You're the girl I want, every single damaged part of you. You're the girl I love. Fuck Hotch, I don't care what he says about our relationship and how it's unprofessional. We all know he's fucking Emily anyways." I state as Jules let's out a soft giggle, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"They probably are." She states, giggling softly.

"Yeah, they probably are." I restate, smiling brightly as I hear her giggle.

Her giggle is like music to my ears.

"I'm so scared..." She states, her voice a bit shaky.

"I know, baby. But I'll be here while you're in surgery. I'll be every step of the way." I state.

"Promise me you'll stay." She mumbles, her eyes longing as they meet mine.

I chuckle softly, "I, Derek Morgan, solemnly swear and pinky promise to never leave Julianna (Jules) Hotchner's side during this. If we lose our baby, it'll be okay -- we'll try again, and we'll mourn our loss as a family. I won't leave Jules because I love her and will not let her cope alone." I state, placing my hand up as I make myself take the oath.

Jules smiles softly, letting out a soft giggle.

"What?" I ask, playfully.

She shakes her head playfully, "You're so extra. You didn't have to take an entire oath stating that you'll stay." She giggles softly.

"It felt necessary." I state as she playfully hits me with a pillow.

I chuckle, "Oh, two can play that game." I state, grabbing another pillow off the hospital bed.