"Have I told you, have I shown you what I'm feeling when I hold you? It feels like heaven, heaven surrounds me every time you wrap your arms around me. And there is nothing I can say or ever do to deserve the love of a woman like you. When you're with me, when you kiss me, when you tell me how much you missed me. Every moment we're together it brings us closer, closer to forever."
Olivia Benson was leaning against the doorframe to her son's room, her left cheek pressed against the wood, the door half open as her loving but worried gaze lay upon Noah, gentle breaths being emitted as the boy slept. Her thoughts drifted to Johnny Drake, the monster, the sorry excuse of a man who had been Noah's father and who was now rotting in the ground; these thoughts left a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that maybe, just maybe, a rapist's daughter was not the right person to raise a rapist's son.
With tears in her eyes, she closed the door very slowly, so as not to wake the little boy, when she felt an intense stare on her. Turning to her right, she saw her girlfriend of four years, Amanda Rollins, standing in the doorway to their bedroom, clad only in her Rolling Stones night shirt after her shower, long, creamy, and muscular legs on display, making the brunette swallow hard, despite the unsettling feeling in her chest.
The brunette walked over and wrapped her arms around Amanda's slim waist, the blonde's arms automatically going around the taller woman's neck as the two hugged tightly, Olivia breathing in her girlfriend's scent deeply, both women's eyes closed. Playing with thick, chestnut curls, Amanda waited for her girlfriend to be ready, because from Olivia's whole demeanor she could tell that the brunette was upset, but not yet ready to talk.
It had been a hard case for her with all these rapists claiming that their urges to hurt women were rooted in their DNA, making all of Olivia's deepest, darkest feelings resurface; feelings that made her question everything she was, feelings that made her doubt her every move and her every reaction, and even though Amanda had her fair share of demons, watching her beautiful girlfriend tear herself up over that broke her heart each and every time.
The brunette's shoulders were shaking lightly, Amanda's shirt bunching in tan hands as she balled her hands into fists and silently cried into the black cotton while the blonde began to languidly stroke up and down Olivia's spine, "It's okay, Baby. Let it all out. It's okay. I'm here for you."
A strangled sob left the lieutenant's mouth, her nose running mercilessly, and she sniffed, her voice muffled by Amanda's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Manda. You just showered and here I am, snotting all over you."
Holding her girlfriend just a little bit more tightly, the blonde leaned back a little to be able to look into chocolate brown orbs she loved so much that were now clouded with tears of anguish, breaking Amanda's heart into a million pieces. Olivia Benson was her rock amidst a raging and stormy sea and to see this woman's walls that were built so high come tumbling down brick by brick, just by the gentle touch of her hands, made Amanda love her just a little bit more, "You do not have to apologize to me in any way, Liv. You have been so strong in the last twelve days and that's what I'm here for. You can snot on me all you want because I love you. I love you so much, Olivia Benson, and I want you to be able to let go with me. I'm glad you are, so again, do not, under any circumstances, even think about apologizing to me."
Tucking her nose into flaxen tresses, Olivia nuzzled the spot just below Amanda's ear, taking a deep breath once again to take in the blonde's scent that reminded her of rainy fall afternoons, a hint of vanilla mingling with it that came with Amanda's body lotion, "You smell so good, Baby." Olivia's voice was a raspy whisper before she pressed a featherlight kiss to pale skin, maneuvering them down the hallway and into the bedroom.
When the door was closed, the brunette leaned back against it with Amanda still in her arms, just swaying them back and forth lightly in order to gather her bearings. Her tears were gradually drying as she felt the blonde's fingers against the skin of her lower back, Amanda's hands having brushed underneath the fabric of her blouse.
