Rewinding Time (Narry)

Chapter Thirty-Four (!)

I threw the covers off of me and sighed as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and rested my elbows on my thighs, burying my face into the palm of my hands.

I had no explanation where they could have gone; one second they were there and the next they were gone. At first, I thought I was merely hallucinating, but when the news of the disappearance of Zayn was brought to my attention, what I had seen became all too real.

Because I had no idea how they disappeared, I didn't even know where to begin in regards to finding them. I had talked to almost every single medium in this bloody city but they still could not provide an answer to my questions. Ironically, some of them even had the nerve to claim that I was absolutely mad.

It was hopeless; Niall was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

I slowly pushed myself off of the bed and aimlessly walked through the pitched black bedroom, blindly feeling around to make sure I didn't bump into something in front of me. By now, the fireplace had completely burned out and the room had become extremely chilly once again.

Upon reaching said fireplace, I began patting around the mantel to find any matches; my fingers trembled as a soft breeze swept into the room through the chimney.

After knocking over several candles and a clock, the matches were finally found. I quickly stroke it against the rough surface of the fireplace and threw it inside, hoping that it would catch something on fire. Much to my dismay, the match quickly fizzled out and I found myself, once again, striking another match and hoping for the best.

After going through four or five matches, one single twig finally caught fire from the lit match. I sighed contently, reached for an iron rod, and began poking at the ashes, hoping to kindle the embers and help the fire build much faster.

In no time at all, the fire was back to its previous roaring height. I wandered back over to the bed and pulled several layers of blankets off before returning to the fireplace. Throwing the blankets onto the loveseat, I pulled the furniture closer to the hearth, turning it so that the length of it received the benefit from the warm of the fire.

As I lied there, comfortably wrapped in thick blankets, I watched the flames dance about. My heart was heavy and my chest felt like it was bursting. Besides the soft crackling coming from the fireplace, a sort of empty noise swallowed the room whole, leaving me once again with my plaguing thoughts.

A part of me knew; a part of me really knew. Niall was probably never coming back. People don't just... disappear.

The worst part of it all was probably the fact that he had this horrified look in his eyes when he spotted me from a distance before him and Zayn disappeared. That thought alone was what messed me up so hard.

Distaste, fear, resentment—all rolled into one; that was all that I could gather from just expressions alone in the last few seconds that I had seen him. 

I rolled onto my left side, facing the backrest of the couch instead of the fire. I pulled the blankets up to my chin and curled into a ball, nuzzling my face into the sheets. I inhaled deeply, frowning when his scent subtly invaded my senses.

No way. It had been several days since he had lain in my bed yet my sheets still smelled like him.

I rubbed my nose against the sheets and closed my eyes, smiling to myself as my nose caught onto his scent once again.

After a few minutes of strangely sniffing at my blankets, I snapped back to my sense and quickly sat up from my previously declined position, shocked that I was behaving in such a manner.

"What the hell am I doing?" I sighed and rested my head against the backrest.

The fire made a loud crackling noise, nearly startling me out of my skin. I stared into the fire, allowing it to pull me into a sort of trance. I frowned when memories of Niall began rushing back to me once more.

Not too long ago, there was a night in which I was very, very sick. Niall had pulled the loveseat closer to the hearth, just like I had done today. He adorned the couch with many blankets and had instructed me to lie down. Despite being tired himself, Niall had stayed by my side and tended to my needs. Even when I had awoken in the middle of the night, completely covered from head to toe in sweat, he was seated in the armchair beside me, ready to follow my orders. It was quite cute; he had droopy eyes, heavy from sleep, yet he still had made an effort to stay awake the entire night, afraid that I would get up and do something without assistance and end up passing out somewhere.

Even though I had never really quite said it out loud, I was afraid of losing Niall. He had barely been in my life for a couple of months, but I already knew he was someone that I wanted to have forever. The sort of connection that I felt between the two of us ran deeper than anything I had ever felt.

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

You don't want to be alone, do you?

"Shut up," I mumbled, gritting my teeth as my thoughts betrayed me and recalled the single memory that I had been trying to bury since his disappearance.

I'm never going to leave you.

Niall knew that I hated being alone; he knew that it was the one thing I feared the most in the world. He had promised that he would never leave me; he said so with his own mouth. It was a promise that I had too much faith in. I trusted him.

"Liar," I snarled, gritting my teeth. I was angry; angry that I had believed him—angry that I had fallen for his pretty lies. Everyone leaves. Everyone always leaves.

My fingers curled around the blankets tightly as I began to slam my fist against the backrest. I shoved the blankets off of me and pushed myself off of the loveseat. My hands reached down to the bottom of the furniture and effortlessly overturned it.

I'm never going to leave you.

My hands clenched tightly into fists and I approached the fireplace, punching the stone exterior with all of my strength. A stinging sensation quickly took over as the skin of my knuckle ripped at contact.

I couldn't describe exactly why I was so angry; just having those six words repeat over and over again in my head was driving me absolutely mad. For so many years, I had decided to never, ever let anyone in again, but surely enough, that was when Niall came around with his stupid shiny cerulean eyes and disgustingly dashing smile, making me believe that there was still hope out there for me; that someone actually care about me.

I'm never going to leave you.

"Liar!" I shouted, kicking the wooden armchair. The slightly heavy piece of furniture skid across the floor and bumped into the loveseat. Dissatisfied that the chair was still intact, I grabbed the iron rod from the fireplace and stormed over towards the chair, striking it repeatedly, almost as if doing so would help rid me of the memories of Niall sitting in that same exact chair.

I'm never going to leave you.

Tears of frustration began to prickle at my eyes. I sniffed and quickly brushed the back of my wrist against my eyes to refrain myself from getting emotional.

I continued around the bedroom, wreaking havoc where ever I turned; papers scattered the floor, curtains were torn, clothes were burned, and furniture were overturned.

Once the room had been completely wrecked and my strength and willpower had diminished, I crumbled in the middle of the bedroom and pressed my forehead against the wooden floor.

My bedroom was a reflection of how I felt inside; everything was a mess. I felt like a mess. I was jacked up inside. I felt psychotic. I've never felt like this before. I never thought I would ever become like this. It was scary to know that there was somebody out that who could make me behave like this.

You're infatuated with him.

"No," I huffed, slowly sitting up and glancing back at the fire. "If this is infatuation then I don't even want to know what love feels like."