Lone Wolf [Discontinued]

Chapter 24

TW: Hospital setting, mention of suicide, self-deprecating thoughts

To say the lights were blinding even with my eyes closed would be an understatement. They were absolutely positively blinding. Maybe even that was an understatement. Though I still sort of wanted to open my eyes. I tried to lift my heavy eyelids to no success.

I let out a groan and just relax. I could hear a faint murmuring, but I couldn't distinguish the words. Only a faint mumble. I tried to let out a groan but everything in my body just seemed so, so, so heavy. I couldn't do anything if I even wanted to. What time even is it... What is everything? Wait...

Everything came rushing back to me. The horrible feelings of... whenever I was last officially awake. The night, the bridge... Am I still alive at this point? It feels like I am. I can talk, and I can't move. Though maybe this is just what the afterlife is like. It could be an endless void of way-to-bright light, an overwhelming feeling of heaviness, and an inability to move at all. Well, there's also the unfortunate chance that I am indeed still alive. That would be bad...

Wait... the voices. They seem to be coming into focus. I suppose this will tell me if i'm dead or alive. Now, just focus on that voice, Grace, and we can figure this whole thing out. "-been a month. Though she seems to be getting better, so hopefully she will wake up soon. Though if she's in this state much longer... I'm not sure she will ever wake up." Is that..? I think its Doctor Banner. Though I know both him and Doctor Strange also work in the Med Bay sometimes so it could be Doctor Strange. My hearing isn't exactly on point if you couldn't tell.

Though from what the doctor said it seems I am still alive. Though I'm in some sort of coma I think. They said it has been a month... oh shoot. I missed Christmas and New Years. This all could have been avoided if I just died like intended. I'm a screw-up. I only mess up everything. I felt tears prick my eyes as all those horrible thoughts entered my head. I tried to move my arm to brush them away, but, as stated earlier, I can't exactly move anything. So, I went with my second best option. Aka, I tried to blink them away. Well, I succeeded...

I managed to make my eyelids do that thing that everyone else does subconsciously. The lights grew even more blinding when I opened my eyes. I honestly didn't even think that was possible. It took a solid couple of minutes for my vision to return to what a general person would call normal. My vision was still blurry though... I didn't have my glasses. I could see the outline of a person, two people actually Then I could also see the white of the ceiling, the silver lights.

"Oh my- She's awake!" I heard another person, not the doctor from earlier, yell. I flinched a little at this, it was so darn loud. I then heard the other people being ushered out of the room. Footsteps were heard before I heard one person walking towards me. I guess that this is the Doctor coming to check on me. This was confirmed when he stepped into my line of sight, it was indeed Doctor Banner.

I tried to say something, anything, that could signal how I was feeling or something else of the sort. I managed to get out a weird murmur that sounded more like a baby noise than a thing a teenager could say. At least I could actually do something instead of just sitting there doing absolutely nothing. Maybe over time I would be able to do more. It makes sense that after probably a month of lying in the same position my body would be very, very stiff.

Doctor Banner was giving me a rundown on what I would have to do. Physical therapy, normal therapy, some other random things that I suppose I will find out more about over time. Wait, a random thought. Did I transform on the full moon while I was still injured? So far I've never missed a full moon. Oh crap, does he know? My breathing sped up a little as my thoughts raced. Oh no, I'm doomed. What if he told the others and they hate me, or are going to stop me from doing the one thing I truly enjoy.

"Hey, hey!" I heard Doctor Banner calling. "Calm down and breathe with me. The square pattern. In for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four." I heard him following the pattern and I tried my hardest to follow along. Soon enough I had calmed down and my breathing had returned to normal.

I blinked, "Th'nks." Well, not exactly the most flattering statement, but at least it was something. I can sort of talk! That's an improvement from the small groans and grunts that I seemed to be managing earlier.

"You're welcome, now, back to what I was saying earlier." He continued to explain the things that we would need to go through. I suppose something is better than nothing. I can always just ask for a recap later when my brain is less foggy, my hearing doesn't seem to be so wacky, and I can actually move and talk.

Honestly, his rather monotone, calm voice was making me sleepy again. There's never any harm in a little extra sleep, now is there. I closed my eyes and waited calmly as my world faded to an all too familiar black.

- - - || - - -

If I could have just stayed asleep forever, trust me, I would have. Though unfortunately I woke up about... I'm not really sure how much later. I hadn't looked at the clock before and I can't see one at the moment. Well, it makes sense that I can't see one at the moment. I have my eyes closed.

I managed to force them open again, and surprisingly it wasn't as hard to open them as it was earlier. Also the lights weren't as blinding, which was surprising. To be honest, everything is kind of surprising right now. Though this scratchy hospital blanket isn't surprising, it's horribly itchy and I hate it. Maybe I can move it off.

I wiggled my fingers, well, it was more of I jerked my fingers up and down since I was so out of practice. Ow. My arm ached, well, that doesn't really surprise me. I let out a mix between a groan and a whimper as the pain-ish stuff spread up my arm. Maybe at least if someone else was in the room they could move this damned blanket off me. Footsteps were heard not to long after.

"Hey, are you ok?" That was Peter! He's here! Oh crap, he probably feels so guilty... It's all my fault as well. I carefully shook my head, although it hurt a little bit. "That's kinda expected." He chuckled. "That blanket looks horribly scratching. Want me to move it?" I nodded my head. Soon enough the blanket was gone and I felt so much better.

"Th'nks..." I managed to say. "S'rry." Vowels are hard to say, ugh. I saw Peter standing next to me and felt as he grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly enough for me to feel it, but lightly enough that it didn't hurt me.

"Grace... It..." He sighed and stared at me right in the eyes. Well, I couldn't exactly avoid it considering moving was difficult as heck. "You said you would tell me if you ever felt that way. I'm sorry I didn't recognize the signs. I- I'm sorry I wasn't a good brother..." He looked away at the last sentence.

That broke me. I felt tears pool in my eyes. I mustered up all my strength. "Pete... Don't blame y'urself. I- Can we c'ntinue this conversation when I'm better? It isn't y'ur fault." I saw Peter nod, and I felt myself start to get more tired.

"I love you, Grace." He smiled and squeezed my hand one last time. He walked out of my vision and let go of my hand. The second he stepped out of my sight I felt the tiredness wash over me. I shut my eyes and faded back into the blackness. 

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Word count: 1,408

Two weeks in a row. Its so hard for me to keep remembering to work on this so let's hope I can keep this streak. Have a great week everyone!

Sincerely,
AlphaG