Lone Wolf [Discontinued]

Chapter 22

TW: Self-harm, Over dosing, suicide attempt, suicide, blood, lots of talk of "hey, this is the end of my time", lying about feelings, depression, mention of suicide/self-harm/oding, everything bad that comes to the top of my mind pertaining suicide

Just an average girl
She always wore a smile

Two hours ago I had woken up to the bright sunshine of what seemed like an average morning in December. I felt happy for once, not like I was hiding something. Maybe this was because this is my last day on earth, that is if everything goes according to plan. It would make sense, since that's all I've longed for for the past couple of months. So, now, here I am sitting in my first period chatting with my table partner while the teacher gives time for the others to finish their homework.

I had already made sure to give Peter, Ned, and MJ the required amount of hugs to properly say goodbye, though they will definitely be getting more of them throughout today. I said hi and such to my normal friend group, but, then again, they are partially what caused this and aren't getting anymore than the proper goodbyes.

She was cheerful and happy for a short while

This feeling of happiness inside me almost reminds me of the good old days, where Flash wasn't a bully, May and Ben were still alive, and I felt happy all the time. Though I'm not sure if this counts as happy, since I am constantly digging my fingernails, not my claws my fingernails, I promise, into my palms or skin along my arms. What can I say? It helps me focus.

First period passed without problems, and I sat next to Peter 3rd period. We have all our odd classes on some days then our even ones on others. I made sure to talk to him, crack a few jokes, and just all around give him the best last memories I could. He seemed to enjoy it, which made me glad. He's not going to be happy with what I'm about to do, but he'll move on. I know he will.

Now she's older
Things are getting colder

Later that day I slammed my finicky locker door shut and spun the dial to a random place to lock my locker. I could smell him before I could hear or see him. His expensive cologne and whatever else he had. "Yo, Parker." I smiled to myself as I hefted my backpack onto my shoulder to head to next class. "Freak, listen to me." I just continued walking, trying my hardest to ignore him. I heard him scoff and say, "You should just go kill yourself. No one here wants you."

At this I turned around. It felt good knowing what I was doing today would be appreciated by someone. "Don't worry Flash, I'm already planning on it. Have a great day." I added a bounce to my step and smiled as I continued to my next class. I heard a noise of confusion, but it didn't last long before Flash went back to his normal arrogant self. With that done I headed to my next class.

Life's not what she thought, she wished someone had told her

Lunch came not to long after and I was chillin'. It had been a good day, and would continue to be. I sat with the norms for the first ten minutes listening to them talk about anything and everything. I said a good goodbye to everyone and gave fist bumps to everyone or hugs to the two people that liked them.

After this I sat with Peter and the rest of their trio. I made sure to inform them that I had lunch at the the other table, though I really hadn't. We got to chat about nerdy stuff and MJ and I flipped through her crisis notebook, which surprisingly enough had quite a few pictures of me and Peter. Probably the stress of being a superhero catching up to us in class or whatever. When lunch ended I gave them all hugs, though a fist bump to MJ since she's not as fond of hugs, and headed to my next class.

She told you she was down, you let it slip by
So from then on she kept it on the inside

It's not that I hadn't told anyone about how bad I was feeling lately. I sent the one other person who knew about the first attempt a text saying code red, a thing we had established a while back which meant I was going to do it again. I wasn't supposed to use it unless it was an actual emergency. To her I thought this would be an actual emergency, but no. She responded with a 'lmao, what?' and moved on.