Stolen Memories Are Never Forgotten - Book 1 (Completed)

Stranger

Wangji swore that he would never stop searching for the witch that stole his beloved from him. If she could return Lan Zhan's memories, then she could return Wei Ying's. But that thought unexpectedly stopped his heart. 

One of his last memories before falling unconscious was that Wei Ying had asked for this, he wanted to forget. Forget all the pain, the hatred, the death that had tormented him for so many years. How could Lan Zhan force that pain back on his lover? The simple answer came with a long, slow sigh. He could not. The decision was never his to make. It was Wei Ying's desire to forget and Lan Zhan would honor that request until his death.

Lan Zhan sat next to him on the bed and pulled Wei Ying's still limp body onto his lap, hugging his head to his chest and stroking his soft sable colored hair before once more laying him back down. He placed his forehead against Wei Ying's and promised, "Even though you won't remember me, I will never forget you. I will never forget us."

Lan Wangji caressed Wei Ying's cheek with his fingers and laid his head on the beautiful man's rising and lowering chest, listening to each breath and every heartbeat. The hard realization that the smiling man who had stolen his heart was no longer inside this body flooded through him like an apocalyptic tsunami. Whomever this person was now lying beside him might be someone who did not love him. Who would never love him. 

And that thought was what finally broke the once mighty Hanguang-jun. His sobs overtook him, shaking his worn-out body violently. He cried for what seemed like hours, embracing the Wei Ying's unmoving body until the tears refused to flow anymore and he slipped into a restless sleep.

As the sun rose the next day, Lan Wangji made the promise that whoever this person was now, he would care for and protect him. Maybe, over time, this stranger would remember certain things just like he had. 

'No, he won't' his mind reminded him. 

Unlike Lan Zhan's memories that were stolen from him and fought to return, Wei Ying willingly gave his away, not wanting them anymore. Which, Lan Zhan had to confess, hurt him more than he would admit because, not only did Wei Ying give up all of his bad memories, he also gave away the good ones they shared.

'Did I not love him enough? Were all the bad memories so much worse than the good ones? If I had told him how I felt years ago, would this have happened to him? To us? If I had stayed by his side in Nightless City, would we be together safe in Cloud Recesses tonight? If I had not taken that mission and stayed with him like he begged me to, would we be partners by now? Would we have a family of our own?' 

Lan Zhan's mind raced with all the "what-if's" until he felt himself suffocating, gasping for air.

"Stop!!!" he yelled out loud, at himself. 

He looked down at the person still slumbering on the bed, praying he hadn't woken him with his irrational outburst. But he didn't move, not even a twitch. 

'Whoever this man is, he is going to need your help and guidance when he wakes up. There may still be resentful energy left in his body and, if not controlled properly, the Yiling Laozu may still rise.' 

At least, that was the excuse that Lan Zhan would use to justify his need, his desire to stay with this man.

Lan Wangji's mind might understand that this person was different and not his Wei Ying, but his heart would refuse to let go of its mate. He knew that. No one would ever be his equal the way Wei Ying had been. No one would challenge him the way this untamed man had. And, maybe it would be a curse that would drive him mad, but Lan Zhan would never leave this man's side. He would follow him to the ends of the earth and even into death if that was his fate with this perfect man.