Love UnHeard || SeongJoong [Ateez]

[Part T] 8. Sorry.

"His parents are alcoholic, he hates alcohol and has a promise to himself to never drink to not end up like his parents." Mingi sat up from where he was lying down to start explaining.
"They say alcoholism can be passed through genes and Hongjoong doesn't want to try a drop again."

"Again?" The other three boys questioned in unison.

"He told me there was this time, when he was 16, that he and his friends drank at a party and things didn't end up well. He drank so much he almost passed out that night.

I don't know if this is revealing too much information, but you are also his friends so I'm going to say it anyway. That night, he drunk so much because he actually wanted to kill himself. He said he's good now, he's happy and we shouldn't worry. He said he's over it, and I trust him, that's why I'm telling you this. He said is no big deal now." Mingi breathed gasping for air.

"Wow... So we are real idiots." Wooyoung said, processing all the information.

"Yea, but not just us," San smirked and looked at Yunho and Mingi. "You two also fucked up."
He raised his eyebrows to them.

"We know... But was it that bad?" Yunho asked, worried.

"He writes all his feelings there, he has told me it's his most precious good. He said his life is basically written there. How he thinks, what he feels, why he does what he does... He once told me it's a place where he writes down his soul. He doesn't believe in ghosts or reincarnation, but he told me his soul was written there. I was speechless when he used such an expression."
San let out.

Wooyoung just nodded, already having listened to this story. The other two listened with wide eyes and open mouths.

"So the fact you guys went there and almost read it... He felt completely naked, when I came to the room he was crying. He is not mad at you though, he's too good of a friend." San finished explaining.

"Fuck." Was the only thing Yunho said.

"We need to apologise right now." Mingi stood up.

"Us too, lets fucking go." Woyoung got up, helped San to get on his and started walking to the cafeteria, Yunho catching behind them in no time.

-

Hongjoong sat on his skate, right besides Chan. The two were having a smoke, the sun was setting in front of them. Beam escaped their mouth along with the burning smoke, Hongjoong's knees up to his chest to keep himself warm. Chan tolerated the cold better than him, just wearing a coat and fingerless gloves, he lent one to Hongjoong.

"How do you know you like someone?" The younger asked.

"Ahh... That's a difficult question, my friend." Chan was thinking of a way to explain it.
"For me... I knew I was in love when I realised it was the first time I was feeling like that."

Hongjoong just nodded.

"Why do you ask?"

"Ah, do-nothing." He brushed off.

"Should we get going now? It's late, my friend lives at your dorms, we could--"

"Nah, I'll stay here a little longer. I don't feel like going back yet."

With that the older waved goodbye, leaving a thinking Hongjoong all by himself.

It's different here, this is not his town, this is not his neighbourhood. This is a new place filled with new people, a place full of acceptance and tolerance. He saw it in every street, how people dressed, he could feel it in a random coffee shop or at a usual park.

But also, it's a place filled with rage and discomfort. People's looks said it all, the graffitis on the walls, the endless protests, the fight for equality in every corner.

This wasn't the safest or greatest place on Earth, but it was for sure better than the rat's nest he came from. Where the only thing he saw was misery and despair.

If that was the case if no one was there to hurt him anymore, why should he be afraid? Why should he still fear his parent's hands or mouths?

He wasn't, he was not going to let it happen any longer.

About his feelings, he still didn't know, but he got one thing clear.
From now on, he's not going to fear his emotions, he was going to endure them and make them his.

"HONGJOONG!" A voice shouted from behind.
The mullet boy turned around.
"We've been looking for you everywhere!" Wooyoung said, resting on his hands.

Wooyoung, Mingi, Yeosang, San, Jongho, Yunho...
Seonghwa.
They were all there, panting for air.

"Fuck Hyung, choose a closer park to the dorms..." Jongho said.

Hongjoong got up confused, why were they looking for him? "Wh-what are you guys doing here?"

"This two," Yunho finally lifted his head and pointed at San and Wooyoung. "This two wanted to tell you something..." He pants for air.

Hongjoong gave them a look, and San spoke. "We are sorry for what happened at the new year's night." He closed his hands together.

"We shouldn't have forced you to drink." Wooyoung did this time.

Hongjoong placed a smile on his lips and looked at Seonghwa, somehow asking with his eyes if it this was his idea, to witch Seonghwa completely understood and shook his head in no.

"Please stop ignoring us!" The two said in unison.

Hongjoong cracked laughing. The two looked perplexed at him, why was he-? Suddenly Seonghwa started chuckling too. Yunho and Mingi turned to him in disbelief.

Yeosang and Jongho couldn't hold it any longer, his loud voices exploding into laughter.

"Yoh, guys, we were not mad. We were playing with you." The shorter said in between breaths.
San looked to Seonghwa.

[You were assholes but we can't get mad at you. You guys are like little brothers.] He explained.

"YAH YEO AND HO ALSO KNEW?" Yunho exclaimed.

"OF COURSE WE DID YOU ASSHOLES, WE ARE HIS BEST FRIENDS!" Jongho smacked him on the back of the head, having to tiptoe to reach it.

"Ouch, that hurted." Wooyoung touched his heart.

"Hurted is not even a word." Yeosang laughed.

Seonghwa wiped the laughing tears from his eyes and looked at Hongjoong, the shorter noticing and looking back at him in a matter of milliseconds.

<<Fuck, I like him.>>

Their thoughts connected.