I will always love you

"I will fix you while you fix me"

I am woken up by another nightmare and I couldn't go to sleep so I decided to go for a jog. Its around 5:30 am, I have never taken a jog ever. Guess there is a first time for everything. I put on a pair of leggings, a sports bra, and sneakers. I plug in my earphones and head out the door.

While I run my mind begins to wonder, James said he cared about me should I take that seriously? I mean he was drunk plus he always denies caring when he's sober. Maybe he lies when drunk or tells the truth? Argh! He is confusing. I can't really tell what he's telling me. One time its this, another its that.

Trying to get rid of these thoughts I push myself to run faster, but the images of James holding me in his arms flash. I run faster, the memory of me nursing his hands flashes, I take a turn and push for a greater speed than the previous and as our first kiss flashes I try to blur it by adding more speed. The second one flashes and I push for more speed. "I couldn't sleep thinking about you" echoes and I run. "I want you" echoes and I push for more speed. "Stay with me at least until I fall asleep"  I run.

"Fuck you Erin!"
"You need help"
"I am having a party find somewhere to go you are not invited."
"You could sleep in a ditch and I wouldn't give a fuck"

I'm torn. Tears start flowing down my cheeks. Regardless of all this I still push for more speed. The house comes into view and I run faster. I ran faster, running away from my nightmares, running away from James and some part of me was running away from feelings for James. I felt hot sour tears taint my cheeks.

As I came to a halt I felt as if I was going to explode, every muscle in my body was aching. The fatigue sipped into me mercilessly and I wanted to collapse right there. As tears still fell I took in lungful breathes I felt as if I had forgotten to breath for a while.  I broke down. Breathing heavily as excruciating tears fell. My heart couldn't take this. James was playing with me whether he knew it or not and it was ruining me. Scenes of my nightmare flash and I grab my chest as I cry a river.

After finally catching my breathe and convincing myself that I was fine for now. I walked towards the house. I was sweating buckets. The moisture in my hair wasn't comforting neither was the dampness in my armpits nor back.

Opening the door I found mom in the kitchen starting breakfast. I finally checked my phone and realised it was 7:00 am. I had been running for an hour and thirty. She turned to me with a smile and said

"You're up earlier"

"Decided to take up a new hobby" I shrug

"That's great. You're a sweating mess" she joked

"I am thirsty and tired" I state as I walk to get a water from the fridge.

"I can imagine. Go take a relaxing bath, then join us when you are feeling rested" she suggests

"Okay" I say as I head up the stairs.

While the tub fills I peel of my clothes and they make a sodden heap and my feet. I rap a towel around my body and carry my lavender scent bubble bath to the bathroom with me. I pour the liquid soap and the scent is devin. Closing the door behind me I place the towel on the hook then step into the lavender heaven.

Feeling the warm water surrounding me, my tense muscles begin to loosen. Sigh. I feel lighter realising that all the sweat will be replaced with this beautiful scent. I hear a knock on the door and I groan. I had just started relaxing.

"Yes"

"Morning Erin, heard you went for a run." Dad says

"Morning dad, I did" I answer

"Well you should wake me up tomorrow if you're going could use the therapy too" he says

"More like torture" I mumble

"Sorry love I can't hear you" he says

"It was tiring. I guess I'm making it a once in a while thing" I say.

"Alright, just let me know when" he says then walks away.

After an hour of soaking in this bath I get out. I feel completely relaxed you would have never thought I was the same girl crying a while ago.

I walk into my room and spot James on my bed.

JAMES POV

I woke up and had a certain edge to go to the window. What I saw bewildered me. I felt every limb in my body slowly weaken as I stood feeling helpless watching Erin shatter. Her breathing was hysterical, and her tires seemed as if they were burning through her skin. She was in pain. I couldn't stand to watch her so I moved away from the window. I wanted to go to her but my heart was so heavy and my body wouldn't burg.

What could have made her cry that bad? After a while I finally mastered the strength to go and talk to her. I knocked on the door but no one answered so I let myself in and decided I would wait for her.

When she walked in her face seemed lighter.

"Hey" she said

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask

"Yeah I am good" she simply answers as she walks onto her closet

"Erin stop lying to me" I spit

"James I'm not lying I'm fine" she says calmly

"So why were you crying?" I ask

She freezes. Got you! She fidgets around then walks out clothed and says

"Its nothing" she lies

Enraged I punch the wall.

"Why do you always lie to me Erin? The way you were crying wasn't nothing. Something is bothering you and I don't understand why you won't tell me" I say with a torn tone.

"James..." She says

"Let me help you Erin. I want to be there for you. Let me" I say defeated

"I don't know how you can help me when you're broken too" she says weakly

"Then I will fix you while you fix me" I conclude and I open my arms, she hesitates for a second then she hugs me. I feel her tears wet my shirt.

"I'm here" I reassure her and her happy facade fully crumbles as she breaks down again.

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Love, Olly

I enjoyed writing this chapter as well. The play of emotions was so relatable. Erin breaks down because of James and her parents. Do you think James will acknowledge that he has feelings for Erin like how Erin did? Tell me!