Becoming (INSECURE SEQUEL)

Six: Road Rage

"Well, since you're okay now, I'm going to go."

"No." She frowns as if me staying here is productive.

"I have to go get ready for tomorrow."

Tomorrow is my first day working at my new job. I went back to school so I could become a psychologist and I thought by the time I started I'd be far from the person I used to be. I am, psychically, I don't shoot people and let my anger take control of me. However, I feel like I'm not leveled enough yet. In a sense-- I guess if I had to use a word for it-- I'm not quite mature enough to deal with people's mental health. I know that I won't just be thrown into an office and be expected to cure depression. I'll just be training, but what if I get there and realize that I wasted years in school learning something that I'm not capable of doing.

"Ugh fine." Lily sighs. "but you have to go too." She narrows her eyes at Melody.

"I was anyway." Melody scoffs back.

I turn my head as I walk towards the door and my eyes meet Catalina's. I try to turn away, but it seems like the both of us are stuck staring at each other. As she looks at me her facial expression falls and she has to correct the way she's holding the box in her hand to keep it from falling. She looks different: her hair is more brown, and her face looks slightly more mature. She's gained more weight than she had when I used to know her and she looks more like a woman than a teenager now.

*****

I sit in my car and stare at the sky scraping building through my window. It's so sleek and big, I'm not entirely sure where I fit in, there must be plenty of people who can do the same thing I can and better. Two people wearing the exact same tie just walked through the door within minutes of each other and somehow I just know there are too many people who are exactly the same in here. I know that being like everyone else isn't the goal, but a small part of me wants to. If I'm the same as most of the people in there, then I don't stand out; every time I've stood out in the past it has always been for the wrong things. So if one day, I'm wearing the same tie as ten other people then I'd be okay with that.

I sigh heavily and watch the door through my window thinking about all the reasons I have to go in and all the reasons I have to stay in my car. I look at my watch and then back at the door again; I do that about three times, still unsure. The sun is beaming and the wind is blowing cool air, the sky is blue and there's not a hint of grey clouds.

Someone behind me blows their horn aggressively, not taking their hand off of it until the obnoxious sound pierces my ears and makes me look up. Through my rear view mirror, I see a sleek and shiny all black range rover with windows too tinted for me to see them through the glass.

"Twinsss." I say in a sing-song voice referencing the fact that we have the same car.

Their car is all black, on every perimeter--like a spy or something. Plus, the fact that I can't see who is inside makes me worried. They're just sitting behind me and they blew their horn at me like a crazy person and they might be a crazy person who knows me.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" I hear a woman's voice as she shouts out the window and blows her horn at me again, making me realize that I'm sitting in the middle of the street.

I sigh and start to park my car; clearly that was the sign I needed to get out of my car and start my day. The car that was once behind me parks behind me and I start to get confused and worried all over again. Despite that, I just get out of my car because I don't need another reason to not go inside. I turn my head to see who it was blowing their horn at me and cursing me out as the get out of their car. She steps out one foot at a time because she has to use the step stool to get out. First, I see her black Louboutins and then I start to think that this could be just like the movies. What if she's my boss and she hates me already?