Becoming (INSECURE SEQUEL)

22

AUGUST

Nothing can really prepare you for suddenly being the sanest person you know. Especially not me. It's like an entirely new cycle of responsibilities; people come to you with their problems and expect you to have advice, their secrets and expect you to keep them, but worst of all they always expect you to do the right thing. How am I supposed to do that when the wrong thing is 1. so much easier, 2. guarantees that no one will be relying on you for anything, and 3. You get to do whatever you want.

"Here." I sit Lily's food on the counter in front of her.

"Hostile much?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I didn't even do anything." I shake my head.

Aside from the things that I'm supposed to do, which seem to be the only things I do these days. I guess I'm not complaining because I've done my fair share of wrong things, but this is so boring. I don't wish to be inflicting pain on others or anything, but maturity has come at the price of free will.

"Hi!" Someone shrieks from behind us.

I see Melody walking up to us so excitedly that her footsteps are almost jumping.

"What are you so excited about?" I raise a skeptical eyebrow. It can't be anything good for the general population.

"Why are you even here?" Lily scowls.

"Well, I'm visiting my grandad who just had a kidney transplant. That's beside the point though. One, he's going to live, and two-just to add to this glorious day- Catalina and Ashton are so over. I overheard–"

"Catalina and Ashton are not over." Lily interrupts.

"Anyway. I overheard her– because Ashton was like the overseer of the surgery board so he was checking in with my dad- and when he left I heard her talking to some nurse about how he's been flirting with his ex from college-"

"Melinda is his ex!?" Lily gasps.

"Yes. and apparently they're always together, like friends but-"

"but you can't be friends with your ex if you're married." Lily finishes for her and then is sure to send me a glare afterward.

"Melody is not my ex," I say.

"Right. So, Ashton must like the woman-"

"Or..." this time I interrupt. "Maybe they're just friends. It's completely possible and I don't see why he wouldn't love Catalina-"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I can see Lily snap her head in my direction from the corner of my eyes.

"I just... mean that they're married and he's loved her forever, even when she was a mess, so I can't see why he wouldn't now." I'm sure to emphasize the he part so that she gets I completely mean Ashton and not me.

Lily, no matter how hard we both try, won't believe that I'm fully over Catalina. I'm not even entirely sure all the things I used to feel about Catalina were actually accurate depictions of my emotions. I wasn't in a good space then and was grasping at any reason to feel something.

"Are you guys gossiping about Ashton cheating?" I hear Catalina's voice behind me and I flinch.

She's always creeping up at the worst times.

"No." I lie.

"You're lying." She squeezes in between Melody and me so that she can lean into the conversation. "So what do you think? Am I crazy or am I right?"

I look over at her to see if she's serious, but her face doesn't budge an inch.

"You don't want advice from us," I say.