A L I C E P O V
Getting a headache from the pounding music, I head towards the back yard. When I pass the living room, I do a quick survey, not sure who I'm looking for exactly. Everyone is off in their groups, red solo cups in hand, laughing and gossiping. Having a good time.
No one is really dancing. I mean, there's the few who are so wasted it doesn't even matter to them anymore. I wish I didn't care anymore.
An abrupt giggle escapes me as I see Karma jerking her body awkwardly, and swaying crazily, completely off beat. Luke behind her looks flustered, not quite knowing what to do. He spots me and mouths the word 'Help'.
Shaking my head, I laugh and continue my journey.
The backyard has little activity. A couple making out near the cheap plastic pool is about the only ones out here.
I find a dry patch of grass and collapse onto it, not even caring anymore.
I sigh, and stare up at the dark sky. I wish I knew constellations, astrology is so cool.
I feel a heaviness, but I have no idea why. Closing my eyes, I remember my life before Australia.
I miss my friends from Canada. I lived in a small town down in Southern Alberta, full of friendly people, bored teens, and churches. Nothing ever really happened there. A couple drug busts, a suicide, maybe some stupid teenagers setting random shit on fire, but that never really directly effected the entire town. It was just a bunch of bored teens with nothing to do.
I don't completely remember a lot of what happened, but I do remember a few of my friends. A boy that lived down the street who had an accent that would make me giggle; my mom's friend's daughter, who loved making dirt pies as much as I did, and a girl with short raven hair that used to stand up straight who I went horse back riding with a couple times.
Just fond memories, ones that I wish I could relive again. I moved to Australia when I was thirteen, I thought I was in love with that accented boy, until I realized I was thirteen and I just loved the idea of him. I thought I was going to be friends with that girl who was my mom's friend's daughter, for well... forever. She grew up faster than I did, I guess. She became friends with the people who didn't plan on finishing high school. And as for the girl that had short raven hair down to her chin, we were friends for the longest. We kept in touch for a while, until our conversations on facebook and skype went monotonous, and she developed more friends. I saw on her facebook that she had recently won an award for being the best barrel racer in all of North America for her age group.
It seems everyone from Canada has forgotten me, and it shouldn't bother me, but it really does.
"What are you doing?" Looking over I see Jason looking a little roughed up.
"Admiring the stars." I wave my hand toward the sky. I pat the grass beside me. "Wanna join?"
Without answering, he plops down on his butt. He cautiously lays down beside me.
"Do you know any constellations?" I can't ignore the fact his arm is pressed right up to mine. I bit my lip, forcing my mind to forget the sensation.
"No," He whispers, like he doesn't want to disturb the night sky. "I wish I did." I make a sound of agreement. I feel his fingers brush mine, and I shut my eyes abruptly.
I am suddenly reminded on the accented boy from Canada, and feel my throat tighten. What if I don't actually have a crush on Jason, but rather the idea of him?
I am tempted to move my hand away from his, and as though he can feel my sudden change of mood, he moves his hand away and lightly clears his throat.
"So..." He attempts to break the tension. You dimwit, it's your fault there's an awkward lull.
"So..." I mock.
He groans, still trying to keep quiet. "Don't do that. I seriously have troubles starting conversations."
"Well that's a shame, because it seems we simply can't be friends anymore."
"What- Why?" He asks, disbelief coating his words. He gave up on being quiet, I guess. I can feel his gaze on me, and i hold back a smile.
"Because it seems that I too, suck at starting conversations." A quirk of my lips betrays me, and Jason smiles and shakes his head. "So you see, we can't be friends, since we would both just awkwardly wait for the other to start a conversation."
He lets out a quiet chuckle, going back to his whispering.
"It seems we're at quite a dilemma."
I make a sound of agreement, studying the sky once again.
He grabs my hand, lacing our fingers with confidence I wish I had.
Judging by the butterflies in my stomach, I can guarantee that my crush isn't just for a make belief version of him.
