The Villainess With No Happy Endings

Chapter Twelve - Don't Be Dumb

'Ugh, I may just be a voice but I almost puke at that shit. One day they will love me! Gross, how sad are you. Don't forget your life before ▇▇▇▇▇. Always hated by the family who took you in, especially the one with their own children. You were only loved because you were useful to them. Now... Don't let this pitiful child emotion make you forget... Who was the one who helped you get through life? A family or yourself? Don't forget that or else you will be hurt again. That's my only warning ▇▇▇▇▇. Don't ignore it.'

I was kneeling on the ground as the two voices spoke to me. My head was pounding and everything felt so dizzy at the moment. I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep. If this was really me or if I was just a puppet being controlled by an outside force. I. Want. It. To. STOP!

I had to force myself not to dig my fingers into my face as my emotions were getting too much for me to handle. Breathing felt so hard at the moment and I couldn't see in front of me. I was drenched in my sweat and my body felt so cold. I didn't know if I was dying at the moment. I was so scared and wanted someone to help me. I didn't like this at all and I wanted it to stop already.

"A nosa doce Aurelia ... perdón por desencadearte. debemos ter máis coidado coas nosas palabras xa que sabemos o sensible que é a túa alma pero aínda falamos sen pensalo. (Our sweet Aurelia ... sorry for triggering you. we must be more careful with our words as we know how sensitive your soul is but we still speak without thinking.)" I could feel cold arms hugging me from behind but at the moment they felt so warm. I just wanted to lose myself in their hug and forget about everything and everyone. But I knew I couldn't do that no matter how much I wanted it...

"...I am fine... You made me realize something important. I shouldn't be wasting my time with people who don't like me. It is rather foolish of me and I should have stopped this a long time ago." I got out of the embrace of the figure and forced myself not to go back into their hug. I looked at myself once more in the mirror before taking out my ponytail. I still felt a bit shaken up and I couldn't stop trembling but I force my eyes to get cold.

I wasn't going to do dinner once a week with my 'father' anymore. I have more important things to focus on and that 'family' of mine is something I shouldn't concern myself with unless it is avoidable.

I could feel my heart tighten with an unknown emotion but I just narrowed my eyes as I put a hand over my chest. These feelings of mine concerning my 'family' are pointless... I am no longer the old Aurelia. These feelings of hers are holding me back. I have to close them off.

I am not going to suffer because of senseless hope. I am no longer a naive child anymore.

"Aurelia? Are you ready to head out?" Mae knocks on my door as she slowly opens it up. The coldness that was behind me disappear as soon as she appears. I felt an uncontrollable sense of abandonment when this happens but a pulse from the magic stone around my neck calm me down.

"I decided I no longer wish to eat with my father and brother once a week anymore. I want to focus more on my studies and taking time out of my day for them is cutting in with my time for studying." I took off my cardigan as I was speaking to Mae. I walk over to my closet and went to pick out something else to wear.

I was going to take these clothes and burn them later when no one was around. I can't believe I wanted to be acknowledged by those useless shit. I don't need anyone's approval. I just need to focus on myself and not people's opinions.

'I wish they would say they are proud of me and that they love me. I would feel so wanted if they just say that one thing to me. I just want them to love me and to hold me...'

I cover my mouth as I felt a strong emotion go through me. I felt like I was going to puke from this heavy emotion that came out of nowhere. I don't need to be dealing with this shit. I don't need them. I am fine.

"Aurelia! You got so pale! Are you okay? Should I get some medicine for you? I think you should just lay down for today. I will tell your father that you will no longer eat with him and your older brother once a week. Please make sure to rest." Mae was looking at me with such concern eyes that the heavy emotions I was feeling ease up for a second and I didn't feel like puking anymore.

"...I will do that Mae. Wake me up when there is food for me to eat." Since I felt rather sick at the moment I decided it was best if I just slept it off. It would be foolish to push myself when I am not at my one hundred percent.

Mae still had a worried look on her face but she left my room with a reluctant frown on her face. When I was alone again I went to change back into my sleeping clothes and went to my bed. I could feel the heavy emotion still going through my body and I tried my best to ignore what the voice kept saying to me as I force myself to fall asleep.

'I just want to be loved like everyone else... I will let you do anything to me if it means you will love me as well. Please just love me and quit looking at me with such cold eyes... Please, anyone, can you love me?'

I ignore the voice as it started to cry in my head. It was the voice of someone pathetic and I shouldn't be listening to someone like that or else I may end up thinking like them. Thinking like a naive fool. I am not a naive fool. I...

Author Note - Well hopefully I got the different language okay since I have no one I could talk to about it. But anyway let talk about Aurelia. Now I am saying this in the right way but she is quite an emotional person but she tries to hide it from people. She tries to hide that she is emotional by using logic but isn't good at it. I am curious what you guys think the voices in her head are. Is it someone else, her honest feelings, or is it both? I won't tell but I am curious about what you guys think. I will tell you later on in the story but you will have to wait. Also, I am going to say sorry right now since the lastest chapter I have written was not a good situation for Aurelia. The next chapter isn't that bad but the chapter after it is pretty bad. I already said too much so I will stop talking right now.