Trust in Love Again (COMPLETED)

18.

I said it's bittersweet because when morning came, he apologized for losing control. I felt broken once again. Then back to being distant.

That's what happened. It's been a month since then. Lately, I got easily get tired,dizzy and when I eat...I'll puke..I thought it's because of stress but I went to my Mom's colleague for check up to be sure,because my Mom is on vacation with Dad. And yes,my suspicion was right. I'm one month pregnant.

'I...pregnant.,..me..are you sure doc?' I asked to be sure

'Yes you are dear..I'm sure your Mom will be thrilled if he hear the news' Doc said.

'Can you uhm...not tell my parents about this? I will tell them myself' I told the doctor and he agreed because of doctor-patient thingy..

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I am now inside my car thinking deep.
Should I tell Mew? I'm not sure if ,me being pregnant will make him happy or...ugh!!!! Why can't I be just happy that I'm going to be a mother? Why do I feel like I don't deserve this little one inside of me?...

There are lots negative thoughts that's running inside Gulf's head. Composing himself,he decided to tell the good news to his hubby. He went to Mew's office to surprise him. But sadly,Mew is not there. He texted him but there's no response. He thought that maybe Mew is having a meeting outside since Boat is also not there. Gulf decided to go to the cafe two blocks away. When he arrived, he get inside the cafe and saw his husband with that damn girl again. He felt betrayed.

'Did he lied to me?'  That was what Gulf thought.

How can you smile and laugh like that with her and not with me? Are you cheating on me Mew?... Please don't..please...

Gulf is trying so hard not to cry...He send a message to Mew,asking his whereabouts..

☀: I'm at the office bii

'Liar' Gulf said loud enough for Mew to hear. And as soon as this word came out of his mouth, Mew turn around and was shocked seeing his wife standing there with tears. He can see hurt and anger in Gulf's eyes. Before he can react,Gulf left the cafe.

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For the past five months..Mew distance himself to Gulf. Especially when they become intimate..It's not because he fell out of love with Gulf. That's not gonna happen..It's because he is afraid that he will lose control and let the desire and lust overpower him. He doesn't want a repeat of what happened five months ago. He almost lost him again. And what's worst is..they lost their first child without even knowing that they have one. It pains him seeing Gulf's dejected everytime he avoided making love with him. He wanted to..he loves Gulf so much that,he would rather to not have child than to lose the man he love. But he didn't realize that,what he is doing is hurting Gulf more. He know he needs to tell Gulf about this,but he's afraid that Gulf might think he is blaming him for having a miscarriage. That is why he always busied himself with work and sometimes getting drunk to prevent him from pouncing his wife.. He miss his wifey so much...

His friend May, is the one who gives him advices. He knows this can get him to trouble with Gulf..and it happened. He made a promise that he'll stop hanging out with her..but he failed to fulfill it.She's the one who he can tell his worries...he decided not to involve their parents,even their friends. And that his biggest mistake. May told him many times to talk to Gulf about it,but he always delay it. Now,he's facing another big problem. Gulf caught him lying. Worst of all,he made his wife cry again.

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'Fuck!!...'  He cursed out loud...he followed Gulf to their home after getting out from shock..