Some Things Never Change [SHAWN MENDES]

September 14, 2019

"What do you want, Fi?" I asked with obvious hostility.

"Still mad about the sex? I swear I had no idea you were so bonkers. You were fairly lucid though perhaps a bit dirtier than normal. Who knew that sweet Shawn Mendes had a thing for spanking?"

I cringed internally at her bringing up specifics from that night.

"I'm sure you're back together with Vince by now, so why don't you go home to him."

Her expression turned sad. "I guess you haven't heard."

"Heard what?"

"He's run off with the eighteen year old who played his little sister in that movie he made last year. Quite the scandal since people are saying he was probably boffing her on set when she was just seventeen. They filmed here in California where the age of consent is eighteen. Rather pervy of him given that she looked like she was twelve."

"Sorry," I said, "but it's not like you didn't cheat on him frequently."

"True, but you weren't legally a child. I made sure to ask your age before we began our tryst. We had lots of fun in that pool, didn't we?"

That was another memory I didn't want resurfacing in my brain. I ignored her question as I went to my dressing room, but before I could close the door, she followed me in.

"I don't really understand how you went from loving me in May to wanting nothing to do with me a few weeks later when I told you that I felt the same way," she said as she sat down on the couch.

"Sometimes things change quickly."

"Not hearts! It takes a long time to fall out of love. I know from experience."

I turned and looked at her. Scoffing, I said, "You've been in love a lot?"

"Well...no. Only three times. But I still have feelings for all of the men. They are strongest for one in particular. He's this gorgeous pop star who I never quite appreciated when I had him because I'm good at putting up walls. Now that I'm allowing myself to open up to him, he's lost interest. It's like the love he had for me went POOF! into thin air. Or maybe he never loved me to begin with and just fed me empty words."

"You're very manipulative. You know this, right?" I told her.

She pouted, her bright red lips forming a sensual pucker. "I am not."

Andrew popped his head into the room. "We're leaving in five. Hi, Fiona. Nice to see you."

"Always a delight, Gerty," she replied. "When's that soft core porn music video going to be edited and released to the world?"

My manager frowned. "Please don't call it that, especially not in any interviews. I've seen the footage and it's not porn. We won't be using any of the parts where your bra came off."

"What?!" I said, since this was news to me.

"Occupational hazard," Fiona said with the flip of her hand. "No need to worry, love. Your undies stayed on."

I'd seriously considered telling Andrew I wanted the plug pulled on the project. Unfortunately, my record label had more say in the matter than I did. The director had trash talked the whole production on Twitter which meant that when the video was released, it would rack up a high view count and my song would be huge. There's nothing like a scandal for free publicity.

After Andrew left, I grabbed my bag. The rest of my things could stay here since I had another show the following night.

"Thanks for coming to the concert," I told Fiona.

"This doesn't have to be goodbye. We could get a drink."

"I'm really tired and need my sleep. Maybe some other time."

Without looking back, I left her alone in the dressing room.

The next afternoon, when I returned before the Q&A, I saw that she'd left me a note. All it said was "I really do love you."

My new song and music video dropped the following week and skyrocketed to the top of the charts. The success was accompanied by speculation that Fiona and I were lovers.

Almost three weeks later, Fiona showed up at another show, this time in Houston. When I saw her walking down the hall in a cowboy boots with a glittery Stetson on top of her head, I couldn't help but smile.

"Howdy, partner," she said with a terrible Texas drawl.

"What are you doing here? Do you have business in Houston."

"Just the business of getting you to forgive me for my past mistakes. It's my life's mission right now."

I rolled my eyes. "Move on, Fiona. We both know that what we had was purely sexual."

Her face fell. "Sorry, but I didn't know that."

Then she pivoted on her boot heel and hurried down the hall.

On my birthday, she texted me.

Sending you love

Hope your day is amazing

XOXO

My day wasn't that amazing, actually. I had a blowout party on the roof of my favorite hotel in Brooklyn, but without my best friend there to help me celebrate the milestone, it was pretty meaningless. I'd invited Ceci through her parents, who both came, but they said she was swamped with the internship she'd taken and couldn't get away.

Apparently she was still swamped in September when she didn't attend my sold out stadium show at the Rogers Centre. It killed me that she missed the biggest concert of my life.

Fiona approached the bar and ordered a drink. Once she had her glass of red wine, she turned and surveyed the room, pausing when she saw me. "Sweet but Psycho" by Ava Max started playing, which was amusing to me. Fiona could definitely be both of those things.

I walked over and gave her a smile. "Hi, Fi. How are you?"

"You don't have to chat with me just to be polite," she said as she avoided eye contact with me.

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"Well I know you're not talking to me because you like me. You made that quite clear."

It was crazy how the tables had turned. A year ago I was desperate for her to have feelings for me.

"You know I like you."

She gazed up at me with sad eyes. "I miss you."

As I looked at her, I thought of Ceci. We were done; I knew that after our talk this morning. Maybe it was time for me to move on.

"Let's get out of here," I suggested as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.