Just Random

IV. HAPPY WHAT??!!

JANUARY 2021

I once again red the chapter "Yuushin" and i was what??? And then lough out loud! It's like come on my self!

Well to be honest with you my self when I wrote the first three chapter of this online journal I was in the midst of emptiness, loneliness and self worthlessness.

Now I am leaving my life 22 and half year of my life and still in the midst of covid-19 Pandemic. Many things had happened, emotions that changes quickly, attitude worsen or better and life changing decision have made.

For me I've changed too.
For the better of me, I hope?
I decided to let go of desiring of having someone that will love me every soon. O let go of it and focusses myself in developing myself and to complete me, even without my future someone yet.

So I decided to complete myself first before going into relationship. I want my future someone to say that "she's complete even without me" I want to be an independent woman that with the help of God and with the people whose looking after me is mature, strong, caring woman.
A woman that is complete not because of someone but because she find her true self and by God's grace she continues to develop and care and love her self and other people.
A woman that won't let herself to be stripe away by men and won't let the men to take advantage of her weakness but a woman that is respectable and can take care of her self.

So Now I decided to love my God and my self fist, then to love my Famly and then my work where God has put me into, my calling.

So Future someone if you'll read and if your on your way to me, be ready coz I'm done waiting for my future someone. I just Hope that it's okay for you to be put on 4th place. Well if you're God destined for... you'll understand and you'll be happy that I am like this.

This is what HAPPINESS is for me NOW!