Just Random

II. WHAT AM I DOING!!!!

SEPTEMBER, 2020

You were my light when I was in the dark
You were my Strength, my protector.
Your words cut deep into my heart
You make me realize my worth.

I know that your just helping me
I know that I'm just a responsibility
It's your nature to be sweet
It's your second skin to be touchy

And I look up you
I idolaze you
I trust you
And then...

I was sure it's just a feeling of being protected. You make me realize that i can forgive myself and I can change my self.
That even though a lot have already happed I can still do this, to be worthy for someone, someday. So I wait for that someone.

And then...
I was wrong.
Until I developed that feeling.
That feeling I shouldn't have felt.
So I ignored it.

And ignore it

And Ignore

And IGnore

And IGNore

And IGNOre

And IGNORe

And IGNORE

IGNORE IT

DOT FEEL IT

HIND IT

BE BLID FOR IT

HIND IT

HIND IT

HIND IT

IGNORE

IGNORE

HIND

HIND

HIND IT, IGNORE IT!!!!!

BUT

I

CAN'T

so I let myself to feel that feeling
To daydream about you and me
To let you be
And then

It happened

It shouldn't be

But I like it

I should have stop

But I want more

I should have distance myself

But I want you!!

...

So I let you have your way to me
I let you touch me deeply
I let you consume me
And I turn BLIND to the TRUTH.

THE TRUTH

That no matter what, no matter what I do, no matter how much I like you.!

The Truth is...

YOU WILL NEVER ME MINE.

because you already have her
The one that you've been waiting
The one that you've been praying for
It was Her, and you already have her
You love her, and you choose her

She who have been helping me too.
She who have been pulling me up, guiding me, reaching me out
she who fought for me, she who stand for me, she who loves me as a sister

And

I BETRAY HER.

WHAT AM I DOING!!!

I LIKE YOU, NO I LOVE YOU
BUT I KNOW DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART WE ARE THE SAME.

WE WERE BOTH DOESN'T WANT TO HURT HER.

SO PLEASE?
I KNOW I AM A FOOL!
BUT PLEASE?
I ALREADY KNOW MY POSITION!
SO PLEASE!!!
MAKE HER HAPPY

LET ME BE YOUR DARK SECRET YOUR
DIRTY LITTLE SECRET.

JUST MAKE HER HAPPY.