Short Essays

Losing Myself

I don't know how describe this longing, this loneliness. All the feelings bottled up inside me. I just want to feel. Feel your breath on my skin. Feel you love me. Feel you want me. Make me scream. I want to be at your mercy. I want to trust you. Give you all my heart. If you give me all of yours. I can't keep feeling like this, can't keep on not knowing you, can't continue not feeling you. Can't look at my reflection without knowing that I'll see you looking back at me. I keep loosing myself loving. The strength of this is overpowering, all consuming, all enhancing and entirely destroying. I feel helpless. No one to hold me, can't even hold myself. My mind diluted, my heart stained, my soul weakened. I can't be contained. Keep to yourself. You don't need anyone else. Shut your doors. Keep it inside. You don't have to hide. Show all of your colors, all that you are. All that you will be. Everyone you were. It's not like they care. Not like they care enough to hear your heart breaking. Hear your soul aching. Feel your breath trembling. See your tears flowing. See your love growing. Until everything is colorful but they forgot about you. You are the only one who's still black and white.