Is This Hell?

Damned Unpleasant Children part 3

"Yup, could also be called a witch's cookbook." Damon smirked.

"Every spell that a witch casts is unique unto itself, so every witch would document their work." Stefan explained.

Elena looked at Damon and together they chorused, "Cookbook."

"What about our mystery vampire?" Stefan smiled at them with a raised eyebrow. "Dimwit obviously wasn't working alone, so whoever's out there knows who we are."

"And, frankly, I don't like the disadvantage, so..." Damon clapped his hands together. "Chop, chop."

"One part of me wants to say 'You're not my real dad!' while the other wants to say 'Make me!'" Elena smirked with a shrugged.

"You know, I really like this whole menage a threesome team thing." Damon snorted. "It's got a bit of a kink to it."

"So, if you and Damon started fucking, who would take it up the ass and can I watch?" Elena looked at Stefan with a leer as Damon walked out of the room.

Stefan stared horrified at Elena and they heard Damon stumble down the stairs and Elena started to laugh devilishly.

"You do know we are brothers, right?" Stefan asked as he looked at her.

"Stefan, you and Damon are my friends and I don't judge." Elena laughed and then smiled kindly at him, knowing Damon was also listening in. "If you one day decided you wanted to get gang banged by a whole freaking biker gang, I would just make sure that everyone was consenting adults and that you all had enough lube."

"Your mind is a very dark, disturbing place, isn't it?" Stefan asked quietly and Elena just smiled innocently back at him.

XOXOXOX

Later that day Elena looked through boxes of old family memorabilia for the journal while Stefan sat at the breakfast bar watching her.

"How are you feeling?" Elena asked as she pulled out a few stacks of papers from the box.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Stefan looked at her.

"Well, I did basically change the way you looked at the world a few days ago." Elena shrugged.

"I'm trying to get used to it but I always find myself thinking about things 'the human way' so to speak and it's hard to just switch my way of being." Stefan tried to explain. "And I just can't stop feeling a high regard for human life."

"You don't have to become apathic towards human life or anything like it as long as you realize that killing something to be able to eat has been done as long as life has existed." Elena smiled reassuringly at him.

Elena picked up a photo of a man from the box and Stefan stood up to walk over to her to be able to see the picture.

"That's Jonathan Gilbert." Stefan informed her.

"He looks a bit like my dad." Elena murmured softly.

"Genetics tend to do that." Stefan teased and she elbowed him in the stomach playfully.

"What's this?" Elena opened a wooden box and contained within it was what appeared to be a muzzle.

"That is a muzzle designed for vampires." Stefan explained softly. "It is made so your jaw is unable to open and that way you can't feed."

"That's just barbaric." Elena exclaimed in disgust. "If you hunt and kill vampires, fine I can accept that but to starve them? That is just unnecessarily cruel."

"What are you guys doing?" Jeremy asked as he entered the room.

"Realizing that our ancestors were disgusting and sadistic pigs." Elena sneered but then she smiled at her little brother. "We are looking for Jonathan Gilbert's journal. Know anything about it?"

"Yeah, I just did a history report on it." Jeremy smiled proudly. "I even got an A on it."

"That's amazing, Jeremy!" Elena jumped up and hugged Jeremy.

"What do you need the journal for anyway?" Jeremy laughed as he hugged Elena back.

"Oh, it's supposed to contain the location of a grimoire that we need." Elena told him.

"A grimoire?" Jeremy asked wide eyed. "As in a witch's spell book?"

"Exactly like that." Elena beamed,

"Witches are real too?!" Jeremy looked flabbergast and then a smile slowly broke out on his face. "That is so cool!"

"I should really stop being surprised at how easily this whole family accepts the supernatural." Stefan mumbled with a shake of his head.

"So anyway," Elena smiled. "Where is the journal now?"

"I gave it to Mr. Saltzman, he wanted to see it." Jeremy shrugged then he turned hesitant. "Shouldn't I have?"

"Eh, we'll just go ask him for it." Elena smiled and ruffled, or tried to ruffle, Jeremys hair, but she frowned. "Jeremy?"

"Yeah?" Jeremy looked at her.

"Since when did you become so tall?" Elena giggled.

"When did you become so short?" Jeremy smirked teasingly at his older sister.

"I'm not short," Elena pouted. "I'm fun sized."

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