Dreaming Alone | taekook ✔️

t w e n t y - n i n e

"Jeongguk..."

"I'm tired."

"You're sleeping on the floor?" Taehyung asked, "You can take my bed. I don't mind."

"No it's fine."

"Jeongguk, you need to let someone care for you."

"It's not that deep." The ravenette said sourly, those familiar words echoing into Taehyung's brain. "I just want to be numb. I want to sleep and forget, okay?"

It was like they were back at phase one, where Jeongguk was a closed book, the chapters of his life written in some kind of invisible ink that Taehyung will never get to unravel.

This constant push and pull of trust and insecurities that they couldn't get over. Taehyung could feel frustration burn deep in his bones, understanding that he couldn't control the ravenette's emotions but failing to grasp why their friendship was so brittle and tampered by fear.

One second they had something special. Another second they were strangers again.

Jeongguk had successfully wiggled himself into a sleeping bag, body turned away from Taehyung. He laid there so peacefully that it almost hurt the brunette.

How can he act so okay about this? How is he so used to pretending?

"I wish you'd trust me the same way I trust you." The brunette voiced out of no where.

There was a brief silence before the ravenette gave his answer, his back still facing Taehyung. "I do trust you."

"No. You're terrified of me. You're terrified of confiding with me. Don't want to tell me anything. You just let me beat around the bush until I discover new things about you." The brunette said, "And I'm sorry if I'm intruding your personal space, Jeongguk, I really am. But I want to help you—"

"Someone came along, ripped the pendant off my neck and threw it into the ocean."

Taehyung's jaw went slack, being interrupted with that information. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does—"

"I don't even know him, so it doesn't matter."

Taehyung's hands gripped onto the sheets with anger. "He must've had a motive or something. He must've known that pedant meant something to you—"

"Taehyung." Jeongguk wasn't even facing him, but that brunette could tell by the thick emotion in his voice that he was about to let a few tears roll down his face. "It's not that I don't trust you, okay? It's just painful to talk about. Can we stop?"

Taehyung immediately climbed off his bed and laid down on the floor next to Jeongguk. The second he encircled his arms around him in a back hug, a gut-wrenching sob slipped past the ravenette's lips.

Jeongguk covered his mouth with an open palm, desperately trying to shove it all back in, but they escape in the ugliest way possible.

"Bambi..."

The ravenette shook his head rapidly, as if refusing to acknowledge Taehyung's words.

"Cry." The brunette urged, "It's okay to cry. There's no shame in crying. It's just me here."

Something about what Taehyung said opened a floodgate in the ravenette's mind.

Jeongguk had always refused to respond to Taehyung's hugs, so it surprised the brunette when he whipped around and buried himself into Taehyung's chest, hands flying up to grab at his shirt and pull him closer.

And he let it all out.

"Jeongguk..." Taehyung ran fingers through his raven locks, smelling his own shampoo that he lended the boy that night. "I'm sorry. I know you feel like shit."

It was a little awkward, with the sleeping bag twisted around Jeongguk's shivering body and the hardboard floor against Taehyung's side. But nothing really mattered in that moment, especially when Jeongguk's next words trampled the brunette's heart in a stampede.

"No. You don't understand— It was like losing her all over again."

_________

astragguks this chapter is dedicated to you because of the talk we had last night
thank you for being kind and so supportive and just being a genuinely good friend :,)

hello it's me
i won't be updating until the weekend
i went to the doctor today and was stabbed by five needles
nobody told me i needed so many shots FOWJDJWKKDM
but yeah i'm drowsy and both my arms are sore and i can't concentrate on writing more than a sentence lmao
the doctor says it'll need at least a few days for all the side effects to die down so

(save me)

i love you
thank you for your patience
and i'll see you soon
- hay