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Chapter 8

I slowly opened my eyes and saw my mother sitting on a chair, gently rubbing my hand. Her eyes were shut but I noticed visible creases across her forhead. I was about to say something when a silent tear ran down her cheek.
Time went still and my world seemed to darken. My mother was crying. I had often seen her swollen pink eyes from regularly crying in secret, but not once in seven years, had I seen tears flow down my mother's face. My ears became blocked and I was stunned beyond measure. I could no longer hear or see, as if someone had switched off the lights. However, a hushed beep caught me offguard. I thought it had been a figment of my imagination when suddenly, I heard it again. The sound seemed to continue after abrupt intervals and I soon realised what it was. I willed for my brain to switch my mental lights back on and eventually, a dim light overhead grew brighter. I steadily turned my head to the left to find a heart monitor displaying sharp lines. I concentrated harder and harder on the sound and began to hear my name.

"Judice? Are you awake?" I quickly looked towards my mother who was now leaning towards me. Relief flooded her features and I could not help but realise my mother had stopped crying. The only proof of her tears were the swollen eyes I had become accustomed to over the years.

"Mum?" I struggled to find words. I had too many questions whizzing through my mind, so resulted in looking around the room.
The heart monitor suggested that I was in a hospital, and the white walls and clean tiled flooring was further proof of it. However, what was I doing here? Was someone hurt? But then why was I the one lying on the hospital bed? I would have remembered if I had been hurt but no, I could not. Yesterday...yesterday...my mother had taken me shopping for the party tonight and we came back home. I called Jade and fell asleep. Nothing else had happened, so why was I here now? I decided to ask the one person who has only ever made sense to me, my mother. I hopefully looked towards her.
"Wh-What's happening? Why am I here?" I did not mean to sound worried but as I spoke, the anxiety came naturally. It took time for my mother to answer. I watched her slowly open her mouth to speak but immediately shut it and after a numerous number of times, I realised she was contemplating as to what to say. In the end, her answer sounded rather abrupt compared to the hundreds of questions I wanted answers to.

"Sweetie, you fainted." That was all she said. I waited for her to continue, but when I soon realised she would not explain it any further, I decided to question her further.

"Mum? What do mean? I fell asleep at home and woke up here. There is no way I could have possibly fainted in my sleep!" I was not aware of how loud my voice had become until a Nurse came into the room, after hearing the commotion from outside.

"Excuse me Miss, are you awake?" I was dumbfounded. I had expected her to ask me what I was doing in the hospital because they had no record of a patient named Judice Trite, recovering in this room. I was too astonished to register the question she had asked me so she continued as I stared wide eyed at her. "I will let Doctor Mckenzie know." With that, she left and utter silence lay still in the room.
I continued to stare at the now, closed door in the hope that somebody would come in and sort out this entire mess. Not soon after, the door opened and a man wearing a white lab coat, walked in. I assumed he was the doctor.

"Hello Judice, it's nice to see you again." Again? I had never seen this man before. I was guessing he could tell from my bewildered expression that I wanted answers. However, he chose to ignore my silent requests as he faced my mother. "Mrs Trite, could I have a moment to speak to you in private?" My mother looked at me before standing up and leaving the room, with Doctor Mckenzie following closely behind. I was hoping they would forget to shut the door, wishing I would be able to eavesdrop on the important conversation, I assumed they were having.

When I was five, I came back from my first day of school, wishing I would not have to go again the next day. When I was seven, I sat alone during lunch at school, wishing I could become invisible. When I was nine, I sat on the outside porch, wishing my parents and I could become a happy family again. Not one of those wishes came true, so now, I was wishing this one would. To my amazement, it did.

"Meredith, don't you think she has a right to know? She is seventeen now, for goodness sake!" Doctor Mackenzie's voice was too loud to ignore. What did he think I should know? More importantly, why did he say I was seventeen? My birthday was not for another three weeks. I brushed the age difference off, considering it was not as important as what was being discussed outside, and continued to listen. "If we keep telling her every time it happens, it might help her recover faster! Don't you want her to become better?"

"Do you think I don't want to see my daughter living her life like a happy teenager? Don't you think I want her to recover? How do you think I feel?" I heard my mother's voice waver in tone and knew she was on the brink of tears. "How do you think I feel?" She repeated the question, but it was no longer an argument; now, my mum truly wanted an answer. "My daughter is trying to block out some memory which torments her every time she sleeps! I wake up to the sound of my only child screaming for it to stop! I take one look at my daughter in drenched bedsheets and lose control of myself in tears!" My mother was yelling and I could now tell she was trying to suppress her tears from spilling. The next time she spoke, I had to concentrate to hear her tiny voice. "The worst fear a mother can have, is not being able to help her child control theirs. I don't know how to help her Keith, and that is what kills me the most." After that, my mother began to cry. I could hear her muffled shrieks, guessing she was crying into Doctor Mckenzie's shoulder. As my mother cried loudly outside the room, I let tears slip out as I cried silently into the pillow.

"I'll get us coffee; Judice will be fine on her own for a bit." Doctor Mckenzie tried to calm my mother down and I silently thanked him for it. Slowly, the cries became fainter and fainter and I knew the two had left, providing me with valuable time to think.

What was going on?
I felt horrible for being the reason my mother was in this frail emotional state. I remembered what my mother had said about repressing a memory. I did not know what she was talking about; there was nothing I wanted to forget.
My mother had said the worst fear a mother can have, is not being able to help her child control theirs. But I did not know my own fear, let alone control it.
How could she expect to help me control a fear, if neither of us knew what it was?
I lay down, looking at the ceiling and pondering about an answer to the question. I kept coming up bank and restlessly began to move my head around on the pillow.
That was when I heard it; the faint sound of rustling paper. I immediately sat up, thinking another nurse was coming in, but no one had. I looked around the room but it was mostly empty, so I searched the floor, but it too, was free of any loose papers, so I decided to give up. However, as I laid back down and rested my head on the pillow once again, I heard the sound. Hesitantly, I sat up and lifted the pillow off the bed to find a piece of folded paper. It was a peculiar place to accidentally leave something behind so I cautiously picked it up and began unfolding it. My breath caught as I read what was written inside.

Dear Judice,
You may not remember me, but you are mine,
and will only ever be mine. I will never let anything
or anyone hurt you. When your time is up, it will
be of my own doing. Don't worry, your fate will turn
out just like her's and you two will be reunited once more.