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Chapter 7

"You sure I look okay?" I looked at the mirror, debating at what to wear to the party.
A faint haze surrounded then entire scene and I figured I was having another flashback which I could not account for.

"You look fine. You've no reason to worry." Jade stepped beside me and began applying lip colour. "I, on the otherhand, actually need to use this mirror." I was biting my lip, while I looked myself up and down in the mirror. Jade seemed to notice my anxiety and smiled. "I'm sure Dyson will be head over heels for you." She nudged my side with her elbow playfully but I began to blush. I hugged myself around the stomach and felt as if I had suddenly become queasy and took a seat on my bed.

"Is it really that obvious?" I could not bear the humiliation so decided to take my face in my hands.

"I only know because we're practically sisters," She paused and and looked towards me. "But I think Dyson's an alright guy." She slowly uncovered my face from beneath my hands and held them.
Dyson sat next to me in historical studies and often made jokes about the weird names from the past. He was genuinely a funny person who often made me go into hysterics in several lessons. It was because of Dyson, I had earned my first detention for interrupting the class by falling off my chair in the midst of laughing, but I could not care less. Detention meant sitting a few seats away from Dyson for an entire hour so I did not mind. I would often sit behind him and enjoy looking at the back of his head. His brown hair seemed to warm the entire classroom and every time he would look back at me to find me staring, a smile would light up his face. That smile. It was entrancing, the way his light brown eyes slightly sparkled with each smile.

However, Dyson knew exactly how much his smile affected me and used it to his advantage. Whenever he needed work to be done which he could not do himself, he would ask me to complete it for him. Yes, I was being used but I was too blind to realise it. I was entranced in his playful, carefree antics and became blindsided to the reality of the situation. Jade knew this as well and had often told me I could do way better than someone like Dyson, but after numerous efforts which all resulted in failure, she gave up. Although she now accepted the fact that I was slowly falling for the class player, I knew Jade secretly despised him.

"So why are you getting all dressed up?" I knew for a fact, Jade did not care about what other people thought about her. She never carefully selected her outfits to look good and I had never seen her touch makeup. Tonight, she wore a smile which was glued onto her face and this giddiness made me suspect she was thinking about someone. The smile grew larger as I asked the question and there was no denying, she was in love, but immediately after, I noticed her smile disappeared and was replaced by guilt.

"I am really sorry Judice. I was going to tell you sooner but I wasn't sure about what we were until this morning." I knew Jade was not the type of person who would keep something from me but I also knew if she had, there would have been a reason. However, her excuse was just muddling my brain further.

"It's fine Jade. Honestly, you hid one thing from me; it's really no big deal." I saw relief flash across her eyes, causing me to smile. "However," I continued, "I am curious as to what you meant by saying, what we were. Who is he?"

Jade paused. I could tell she was contemplating as to whether or not to tell me and now I was becoming worried. I had always told Jade my worries and deepest secrets without thinking twice. Now, she was the one who was thinking about not telling me something which obviously seemed to be troubling her. I was becoming anxious. I had believed we were best friends, so why was it so difficult for her to tell me something now?

"Before you say anything, I want you to hear me out." Jade closed her eyes and began to talk very slowly. "His name is Clark. I met him a week ago at the cafe. I was practically running down the stairs to catch the bus and tripped. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't caught me but I think he saved my life. I thanked him but he wanted to make sure I was alright so he sat me down and he took a seat opposite to me." Jade quietly giggled and opened her eyes, becoming more relaxed as the story progressed. "We sat and talked while we had our coffee and within the space of that hour, I grew to like him. Well, in the end, he gave me his number and I gave him mine. Throughout the entire week, we would call each other and just talk. This morning, he called me and told me he wanted to meet up again tonight. He told me he liked me and would like to have our first proper date and I agreed." She began to smile nervously, waiting for me to object but I could not see any reason I would.

"Jade, I am really happy for you," I watched her face beam and continued, "But I don't know why you weren't telling me. There's nothing wrong in anything you told me." The joy began to fade from her and I realised she was still hiding something from me. This talk was beginning to worry me. What was Jade not telling me? She started to look at the floor and began wringing her hands together. The fact that she was unwilling to tell me, made me question our friendship, and Jade was the only true friend I had ever had."Jade, you know you can tell me anything, right?" She briefly nodded once, which I was sure I would have missed, if it were not for my concentration. "Look at me Jade." She slowly fixed her gaze from the carpet to my eyes.

"Judice...he's twenty five."
That was when I understood Jade's hesitation in telling me the entire truth. Clark was nine years older than Jade. It was an enormous age difference and Jade knew it as well as I did. What made matters worse was the fact that she was going to have a date with him in a couple of hours. I did not believe this to be Jade's smartest decision and was going to tell her, but one look at her anxious face caused me to rethink my previous decision.
If I told her, would she still go? If she still decided to go on her date, my opinion would not have mattered and could have stained our friendship. I could not have let this night destroy the friendship we had built over the years. I decided not to tell Jade what I truly thought. Instead, I went along with her plans.

"Just be careful tonight, Jade." As I said every word, the lump in my throat grew bigger as I knew I was lying to not only my best friend, but also myself.

The only good thing to come out of that sentence was the hug Jade embraced me in straight after while murmuring, "Thank you."
Then we were back to fixing our outfits and touching up our faces with make up while looking at the mirror. However, this time when I looked back at my reflection, I was no longer questioning how I looked on the outside, but rather, what I had become on the inside. What I said to Jade, was based on what would make our friendship last longer, not what would be better for her. As I looked at my reflection, I realised I was no longer the innocent and sweet girl my mother had raised me up to be, but a selfish teenager instead. I was disgusted by the person I saw in the mirror and could no longer look at the person I had become. I looked away.

"So Judice, I'll give you my car keys once we get to the party. I'll stay there for a bit but then Clark will come and pick me up. He'll drop me off at my house afterwards so you can drive my car back to your house. I'll pick it up in the morning. Sound fine?" Jade began to wear earrings but she looked at me expectantly, waiting for an agreement.
This was it. I could tell her how I truly felt about her date tonight and I would be happy with my decision, regardless of the affect on our friendship. Or I could agree and allow the guilt to eat me within, but at least, Jade would still be my friend. I regretfully decided to choose the best option for me.

"Okay."

The haze surrounding the scene began to engulf the setting and I realised I was being woken up.