Hҽαtɧҽr 【Sєqυєℓ】 ➸ ᴛᴀᴇᴋᴏᴏᴋ

тняєє

❝Why would she ever want me?
I'm not even good enough for me
I gave her my sweater
It's just polyester
But who I like better?
Maybe it's Heather❞

~✿~

Every single day, every single moment was getting suffocating. I thought I found a better way but I was actually lost and stray.

I started spending time with her, learning she was incredibly nice and wonderful and someone more than I deserve.

Every moment with her was just beautiful but I felt empty. Even though she was beside me, I still would crave to see you. 

I thought I would get better, be habitual of watching her every morning but it didn't make my day better as you would do.

I knew you might be crying somewhere because I changed drastically but then again facing you would be so difficult, I never deserved you.

I thought I would forget about you and find my way but after she walked between us, I got even more confused.

I would crave to see you, desire to be around you and die to hear you say my name but I chose silence first and you were feeding me the same now.

Ever since she walked in, everything has changed for me, I bet for you too. If I'd wanna come back to you will you forgive me? 

I was still foolish to think that I could find someone when you, my old and precious friend that I wanted to be something more, was actually my everything. 

It was another painful morning where I would walk without you and she would be there where you should be but I faked and acted in front of her like I did to you. 

The only difference was I didn't like her like I liked you.

She is too wonderful, like an angel that I never deserved and yet I chose to act foolish.

And that day I was being even more foolish.

I let her drag me into the classroom. She liked me and I knew but what was about to happen, I didn't know.

She got all shy when she took me to the corner. I was not sure of what she was about to do and she blushed hard but soon placed her lips on my cheek, kissing it gently and even leaving her chapstick stain on my cheek.

I suddenly felt a shadow at the door but didn't know who the person was and I rushed to the door to see your faded figure disappearing into the washroom.

"Kookie…" she called from behind and I saw the insecurities laced in her eyes once I looked, seeming so pitiful.

I had to fake a smile to her. Afterall, whatever I was doing, it was never her fault.

She walked closer to me, intertwining her hand with mine but I couldn't lace my fingers tight like I would do to you.

I was already half a heart that she was trying to complete and I realised I was not only hurting me but her too.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked, her voice cracking and fear dripping through her voice.

I closed my eyes, sighing and my hand made a way to caress her cheek. I should be comforting you but I was hurting her too.

"No, you didn't."

Only I was doing wrong.

~•~•~

Now she and I walked to the playground together, my mind always occupied by you yet I tried my best to make her happy too.

We chose to sit on another bench. I fiddled my hands in my pocket as she started talking to me and me being the listener only listened to her while grabbing the chocolate bar in my pockets that I couldn't give you.

I was dazing out, thinking of the maze I just got stuck in to that I couldn't notice that you were sitting afar from me, on the same bench.

She swirled her fingers in her hair and my gaze fixed on her but I could only see you. My brain was playing hallucinations for me.

She was very pretty, no doubt but only you held the power to have me mesmerized, out of breath and a silent viewer of your beautiful face that I missed more than anything that I started watching you in her place.

It was a very cold day and when she sneezed, I was snapped out of my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" I asked and she nodded and pulled her coat out to cover her legs under the skirt and now her arms were exposed.

I felt so bad when she sneezed again and I couldn't help but pull my sweater out and make her wear it.

She smiled at me when I helped her in pulling out the stuck hair out of the neck of the sweater and she just kept staring at me that I had to avert my gaze away and then my eyes caught you sitting there on the bench afar.

You were looking down, fisting your clothes and I wanted to run to you because you were getting cold too but you stood up and walked away, you didn't need me anymore.

And I just stared at your way.

She put her hand on mine but I wanted to follow you, tell you a lot of things.

I tried to make her warm but I was the one coldest to treat you this way. You would hate me but that's what I deserve.

I didn't talk to you because I couldn't but it didn't mean I didn't think of you. It was only you in my heart all the time like a sweet pain.

Even if I would be with her, I would wanna go back to you. I missed you more and more. Thought I would get over you but I needed you more every passing second.

Maybe it was really not Heather that I loved.

────✿────

Heather has no fault here. She is just unaware of everything Jungkook is going through and Taehyung is suffering for nothing.

But their pain will worth it soon.

Hope you guys enjoyed!