This is What It Feels Like (A Ricky Dillon Fanfic)

Chapter 3

Three months. It has officially been three months since Ricky moved out to California. We kept our deal to talk until about two weeks ago. I’ve called him, texted him, and tried to contact him in many more ways, yet he doesn’t respond. He’s still alive though. He manages to post YouTube videos. I don’t think you can do that when you’re dead.

He’s really starting to worry me. Maybe he forgot about me? Although I highly doubt that happened. He was the one that kissed me right? That means he’s the one who likes me… right?! Yeah, I sure hope so. I just want to hug him so badly and see him in person. It’s crazy not knowing.

I’ve been laying in my bed for about three days now, since I have absolutely nothing to do. My apartment has been quiet, except for the occasional call about my nonstop doctors’ appointments. Yes I have a disease. No, you don’t need to call me every day about it.

I have my phone in my hand and decide to check Ricky and the guys’ twitters. I wasn’t really on twitter until Ricky told me he was going away, so I found it as another way to stay in touch. For the past two weeks, it hasn’t been working that way.

The first thing that shows up is @RickyPDillon: Excited to finally meet some of you guys #suprisingfans. Oh yeah, so that makes sense. Ricky has enough time to visit fans, and he doesn’t have the decency to even return one of my texts.

Then the other boys tweet the exact same thing, but include that they are visiting a super fan today. Lucky them. I decide to try Ricky one more time, since he’s obviously on his phone.

The phone rings eight times, which I know means that he’s not going to pick up.

“Hey Pickle. It’s me…again. Please let me know when you get these messages because I miss you like crazy. Okay. Bye.” With that I hang up the phone. I walk out of my room for the first time today, and fix up a pot of coffee. I go into the fridge to rummage something up, as I try to avoid the pickles and chicken. The food that reminds me of Ricky, and the one he likes the least.

I pull out the carton of twelve eggs, and crack open two. I mix them rapidly in a bowl, and fry them into an egg and cheese omelet. After that “nutritious” meal, I manage to get dressed. I’ve been avoiding that for days, seeing that I’m still in my pajamas from Thursday. And now it’s Sunday.

I scan through my closet, and find the shirt that I made with Ricky for our language project in our senior year of high school. Hard to believe that was two years ago. Summer is almost over now. I’ll be heading back to college soon, and Ricky will still be in Cali, while I’m stuck in Denver. Luckily I moved out of North Carolina to go to college. I really hated living there.

I stick my head in the shirt, and strangely, I haven’t grown one bit since my senior year. I pull on a pain or leggings and black flats, and I’m ready for the day. If I actually had something to do today.

I had Connor’s number as I had gotten to know him pretty well. He was super funny and kind, but also dorky, so we pretty much became instant friends. I decided I had to text him.

Me: Hey Con what’s up?

He instantly responded. That’s one reason on my list of many that I love guys on the internet.

Connor: Hey Shay, just on the road with the guys. Wbu?

Me: Just sitting at home, as usual. My life is so boring.

Connor: It’s okay, it’ll get better. Besides. Some girls would kill to be best friends with Ricky since childhood, and best friends with us. Plus, you’re texting me right now. Most people don’t get to do that. *laughing emoji*

Me: Yeah I guess. Speaking of Ricky, why has he been avoiding me latrly? And don’t act as if he isn’t. It’s been weeks Connor, and I really need to talk to him.

Connor: I don’t know. I’m sorry Shay, but I feel like that’s something you need to talk to Ricky about.

Me: That’s the thing. I can’t because he won’t respond.

Connor: I’ll talk to him. I’m sure you guys will talk soon. Anyway I gtg. We can talk later. *wishes I could hug you through text*

Me: *text hugs back*

With that I close out of my texting app, and plop down on the couch. I curl up in a ball, and decide to watch E News! Their doing some talk about a new Miley Cyrus interview. Hannah Montana was pretty much my life, and secretly still is. Along with “That’s So Raven”. With all of these things that remind me of Ricky, I decide to check up on YouTube.

I’ve reached my goal of 100k, which really surprises me because I’m not interesting or funny in my own opinion. Although a majority of those are probably from mentions of me, and from me being in Connor and Ricky’s videos. I check up on Ricky’s channel, and he has 500k subscribers. The O2L channel has 231k. I’m so proud of those boys.

My phone goes off again, which is another one of my twitter notifications, which I was hoping was a text from Ricky. But once again, he’s on twitter, and not texting me.

@RickyPDillon: About to check in on my little cucumber.

I crouch down in surprise. Ricky either has a new best friend or a girlfriend. That is until I realize

I was his little cucumber.

This is what it feels like, so hope your dream comes true.