The Wasting

Chapter 5: Bimisi

There was too much on her mind to fall asleep right away. Things like the open eyes of the man she'd shot dead back in that broken town. They'd stared up at her, wide as the jungle cat's, knowing that it had been she who held the power over their lives. It had been she who had taken those lives away. And what was she supposed to do with that now? There wasn't anything tangible in her hands, nothing to feed her people with, nothing to clothe them with. All that was left was a leaking blue, the sky falling into the depths as the moon took to its horizon. And two dead things.

That wasn't what she had wanted from this trip. She was supposed to be helping, not taking life. Sure, she'd killed animals in her hunt. Many of them, but there'd always been a reason for that. These deaths had been pointless. They'd attacked her, certainly. But it was she who had walked away alive.

What if she left? What if she slipped through this new world alone and let the men stumble along on their own? One person could easily pass through the world without notice. Together they drew a lot of attention. If it was just Bimisi, she could find one of those bulky dresses and walk into the Knight's Tower like some impractical Caesaromagus woman to find the answer from their scholars and Elders.

But she would be leaving Ahanu on his own. Sure, Denigan was there, but neither of them trusted him. Not really. He was a tool to use to get them where they wanted to be, but beyond that he was nothing. And that would mean whatever wrath Denigan would have toward Bimisi leaving would be cast completely on Ahanu. These people didn't seem like ones who thought things through, so she couldn't leave even if it seemed the better option for herself. Tribe before self, they were taught.

She turned a few times on the sleeping roll and found something digging into her back and sides everywhere she moved. Thrusting the soft leather and fur away, Bimisi stood and stretched in the low light of the fire. The night had settled during her tumultuous thoughts, and Denigan stood a few yards off keeping watch. Slowly, Bimisi approached him, clearing her throat when she was close so as not to startle him.

"I can't sleep yet. How about I keep first watch?"

Denigan yawned and stretched. "Sounds good to me."

He caught her eyes and Bimisi felt the need to look away. They may have been a brutish people, but this one knew too much from just a quick look at you. He'd been reading Ahanu like a scroll since they met, and he enjoyed teasing him based on the smiles he had when Ahanu glared or huffed. He'd learned to be more cautious with Bimisi, playing to her fiery nature carefully. Like he knew when he was pushing her too far, or just far enough.

"You look like you've got somethin' on your mind. Y'know, back there, that wasn't your fault." Denigan cocked his head to the side, and his face took on the wrinkles of thought. "You had to defend yourself. Defend us. The people who attacked, it's their fault." He was doing it again.

"Easy for you to say," Bimisi hissed. "You didn't kill one of them."

Denigan made a noise of dismissal. "Sure, but I've killed people before. You did the right thing, Bimisi."

She really wasn't sure. Denigan clapped a hand to her shoulder in a moment of comfort, and she forced herself to hold still. He was looking to help, not hurt, and she didn't want to push away support right now. Instead, she nodded to him and watched him walk off to the bedrolls. He settled in and left her alone for the watch.

Bimisi took up a perch against a thin, tall tree and stared out over the jumbled forests that led back to the town. There wasn't much to see this far in the woods, but the open space they stayed in allowed at least a watch of the area surrounded by their magic. They would not be caught unawares again.