Texting 12: I'm Ready To Use Interpretive Dance If That Helps

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Eren: That's why I'm asking...?

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Ymir: How are you doing?

(F/N): Oh, the usual

(F/N): Moving from one crisis to another to another elegantly as fucking possible

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Jean: All that's left is to beat three eggs

(F/N):

(F/N): At what?

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Zeke: And now, I'm giving you a choice. You can either die or-

(F/N): Die

Zeke: I haven't finished yet

(F/N): ...

(F/N): Just kill me

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(F/N): Yeah I'm trilingual

(F/N): I speak English, Royalty, and Bitch

Jean: As I was saying, you'll be in charge of cleaning duties this week

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Eren: Why does everyone assume I'm going to do something stupid?

(F/N): It saves time

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Armin: You should be ashamed of yourself

(F/N): Yeah, probably

(F/N): I'm not going to be but I should, yeah

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Military Police: You're under arrest

Levi: No

Military Police: Damn

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(F/N): Do you think they're right-handed or left-handed?

Hanji: I'm not sure actually

Armin: I don't think it's either

(F/N): But how do you know!?

Armin: They're dogs!

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Mikasa: I'm perfectly capable of hiding my feelings and emotions. I may have a small crush, but I can keep it under control

(F/N): Hey

Mikasa: I love you

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(F/N): My appointment is in 5 mins

Jean: Tell me how excited you are

(F/N): yay

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Erwin: Are you being sassy?

(F/N): No hunny

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(F/N): There's a town in Norway called Hell. It freezes over every winter

Connie: Want to drive down there

(F/N): Sure but there are language barriers

Connie: How do you mean?

(F/N): I'M ON THE MOTORWAY TO HELL!

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(F/N): I have called this meeting because some of us aren't getting along

Eren: Jean and I are the only ones here

Jean: Shut up

Eren: Fuck you

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(F/N): I've had a thought

Armin: Oh no

(F/N): I promise this won't end with you getting burnt

Armin: YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME!!

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(F/N): But the real treasure is the friendship we made along the way

Levi: No, I want my fucking money

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Annie: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you

(F/N): I know. I'm trying to avoid it

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Mikasa: Come over tonight

(F/N): I can't. Levi's got me on cleaning duty

Mikasa: My parents aren't home

(F/N): Because all four of them are dead Mikasa

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Jean: Everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid

(F/N): Jean

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Historia: Are you injured? I have some blood you can use

(F/N): Is it yours?

Historia:

Historia: I have some blood you can use

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(F/N): It's time for plan B

Armin: We have a plan B?

(F/N): No. It's time for one

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Sasha: Send me a dick pic

(F/N): *sends picture*

Sasha: That's a picture of Jean

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