Sweet Tooth

Chapter-33

"No no that's not what I meant Emmy. Please don't cry sweetheart." He says, wiping my tears carefully, since there still are bruises under my eyes.

"It's just that, for me, being judged is something I've become used to. I wasn't really around the best people in my life, until I met you." He says laughing nervously.

"I'll always be there for you, love. You can tell me anything." I say kissing the corner of his lips. He holds my face gently and places soft kisses repeatedly on my lips. They weren't like his usual, possessive kisses. It was soft and gentle as if he knew my entire face was hurting, and that kissing me hard would just aggravate it.

"I- okay this is weird." He says chuckling, but proceeds either way after taking a deep breath. I like how he is trying his best to open, no matter how hard it is.

"My entire childhood was spent with me being thrown from one foster care to another. I was always very reclusive, I loathed the company of others. It's kinda ironic because I've been craving to be loved, to be accepted, to be involved, but I myself built the walls around me so high that no one could make their way through it. Then, when I turned 13, I was put into a new foster care. That was when things went downhill. They looked like a normal, happy family. They were in fact, a happy family. Always joyous, playful and loving. But it was a facade. They were nothing but greedy assholes. Like every other foster care, even they got a particular amount of money which is to be used for my welfare. But those motherfuckers hardly spent it on me. Whenever we were in the house, I was mentally and physically tortured, I'd be called names, beaten, starved and what not. But as soon as we stepped out of the house, there was a 180 degree change! I would be treated just like one of their sons. I actually cherished those moments, even if it was all an act, I still liked the idea of being loved." He says closing his eyes and leaning back on the headboard.

"That family consisted of a father, mother, and two sons, all of them equally evil. Their eldest son was 16 and the second one was my age. I'd be bullied for countless number of reasons, be it my appearance, loneliness, or even the fact that I was just used in their house as a money attracting object. Trust me, it was living hell in that house, but when we went out for family gatherings, I would be on cloud nine. I was treated with respect, so that the outsiders wouldn't get suspicious. Every month the social workers would pay us a visit to ensure that the money sent to that family is put to good use. On the day of the visit, I'd be well groomed, well fed, provided with the best clothes to wear. I could've told the social workers the truth, I could've told them that I was being tortured day in and day out. But I didn't. I didn't say shit because I knew that if I had told them the truth, I'd be put into an other foster care."

"But wouldn't that be good?" I ask him, trying my best not to affront him.

"No not really. Look, even though those people were total douchebags, they'd at least pretend to care about me when we leave the house, there was some of sort 'affection' shown towards me. Other foster cares are like robots, emotionless machines. I'd rather feel loved through fake emotions than not feel any love at all." I stare at him discombobulated. He was ready to go through all the torture just so that he could get those horrible people to pretend that they loved him.

"That's why I was afraid you'd judge me, Emma. Because that's what people normally do. They thought it was absurd to put myself so low, in order to receive love filled with nothing but fake emotions. But they won't understand. They don't know how hard it was for me. I had to go through the process of growing up all by my self, I was my own father, my own mother and my own friend. All I wanted was to have a place I could call home, a place where I could forget about all my problems and spent time with my loved ones, a place where.........I wouldn't have to fight my battles all alone. In my world, love was just a myth. It was surreal, to have selfless people around you. Until I met you." He says looking at me intently. He holds my face, his eyes threatening to spill the tears.

"You completely changed my life Emma. You made my life meaningful, I felt my life was worth something after I met you, I finally had a purpose to live. And I swear to God Emma, if you hadn't made it through this, I would've killed myself." He says, the tears finally rolling down his cheeks. I put my arms around his shoulders and take him in to a bone crushing hug. I always knew that Jon was keeping something from me regarding his past, but I never knew it was this bad. This was an extremely sensitive topic, and I like a fool, invaded his personal space, forcefully sliding my way in. Jon was so broken, that he went to the extent of finding respite from family photos, a family which had made his life a living hell. The only love Jon had ever received was through the facade set up by those heartless people. I pull away and put my hands on his strong shoulders.

"I don't know what to say honey. I'm so-" I feel the bile rising up my throat and before I could put my hand over my mouth to stop it, I throw up on Jon.

"Oh fuck!" He says. He immediately pulls a sick bag out of nowhere and brings it towards my mouth. He rubs my back soothingly whilst holding the bag for me. Once I'm done, I feel dizzy and my vision begins to blur.

"Lie down baby. I'll get the nurse to clean you up." Jon says, kissing my temple. I was too exhausted to respond, all I wanted to do was sleep, and that's exactly what I did.

****

"How long has she been sleeping for? Can people even nap for this long?" I hear a faint but familiar voice.

"Let her rest you dumbfuck." Jon says. I am really tired to open my eyes, but I can't continue sleeping after knowing that there is someone else in the room other than Jon. Slowly, with a lot of difficultly I open my eyes.

"OH MY GOD EMMA YOU ARE AWAKE!" The other person yells. I grunt when I feel a sharp pain in my head because of the high pitched voice.

"Oh shut the fuck up you asshole. Can't you see she's not feeling good?" Jon says, placing his hand softly on my forehead, trying to ease the discomfort.

"I'm so sorry I was just really excited." I open my eyes wider this time and see Jon sitting on the chair beside my bed, wearing fresh clothes. 

"Hey you're awake baby." He says softly while helping me to sit up. He takes the pillow and adjusts them on my back for support. I look on the other side and see James standing there, fidgeting with his fingers. I give him a soft smile and gesture him to come towards me. He takes large steps and sits on the edge of my bed. I put my hand forward for him to take it. Whenever I hold his hand, he feels calm.

"I'm sorry for shouting." He says whispering. I giggle at his childishness and shake my head, telling him that it was fine.

"I heard that you called the cops on the bad guys. You were a total badass, I gotta tell you that." James says with a wink. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I guess this is the first time I'm laughing wholeheartedly ever since I was stuck in this hospital room. We talked for a couple of more minutes until James had to leave for work. I sigh and lean against Jon's chest, who had snuck his way into my bed when I was talking to James. My thoughts go back to the conversation we had before I threw up all over Jon. I can't believe a person like him had to go through all of that at such a young age. No one deserves to be treated like that. I promised myself that no matter what, I'm going to show Jon how it feels to be loved, he's never going to feel alone, because now he's got a family, he's got me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jon asks as he adjusts the blankets over me. I look at him over my shoulders, hold his hands and say,

"Marry me."