Between Footsteps| p.jm

TWENTY-THREE| - .. -- .

It's funny how cruel time can be.

At times, you may feel like you have too much of it. It may feel bountiful.

Or you could simply be lying to yourself and forcing yourself to keep believing that you have more to spend and relish in than you actually do.

But even in your lies, you had thought that maybe it would be gracious.

It didn't matter how prepared you were for 19 to leave or how you had finally come to terms with the fact that it was happening, a part of you couldn't help but break the moment you stepped into the food truck on day 19.

You thought you'd see him there, at least one more time. You thought that he'd be smiling and teaching you morse code while barking orders to you and the others, just like it had always been since you'd first arrived.

But... he wasn't there.

At first you were simply frozen and numb as 9 stretched lazily and 25 and 52 looked to you before avoiding eye contact.

"Sorry, kid," was all they said at first, voices low and reverent. "He's gone."

You could say nothing but still managed to part your lips as your body began to tremble. No... this wasn't right. His final show wasn't until that night, right?! Why would he be gone? 

The silence and ominous mourning veil that seemed to coat the food truck was overwhelming. 

"B-But-"

"They came and picked him up this morning," 25 noted while pre-mixing batter. "They'll keep him somewhere until tonight." The clinking of the metal whisk against the bowl sounded haunting right then as the man solemnly preformed his tasks. "It helps with the runners."

"The ringmaster hates runners," 52 noted with hatred in his eyes. "And he always finds them. So there's no point, but they still take precautions."

Now you knew the value of time even further than you had before, because it had been stolen from you. You thought that you'd have one more day.

If you had known, then you would have said goodbye the previous day. You would have hugged him longer.

You found that the others were simply moving on as normal, and after swallowing hard you had to follow in their footsteps.

Even in loss, things kept moving. 

But... you didn't want to.

This couldn't be it, right?! Were you not even able to say a proper good bye? Couldn't you have at least been given that?

Your thoughts whirled like a hurricane that was building an unseen storm. You wanted to run, but you didn't know where to. All you could do was act as if everything was normal and continue to serve customers with that empty feeling pulling at your chest. 

This wasn't right.

You continued on however and time felt like an odd blur. You barely noticed 52 yelling at 9 for something and a customer recognizing you from on stage. You forced a smile and thanked them when they informed you they rather liked your performance with Jimin, but your mind felt far away.

So far away in fact that you barely noticed when your shift was over. 

Jimin was there, and he was standing in the back with confusion and slight anxiety riddling his features as you and 9 walked out of the back of the truck. This also didn't feel right, and you looked back to see 25 and 52 working as hard as ever.

They were alone now.

"Today sucked," 9 made out with a yawn. You could agree with this and watched as the tall male threw his apron lazily back towards the door of the food truck. "Turns out that old man was sort of helpful after all."