Living a Lie

Chapter 4

 (Writer: TheUnitedFandomOf1D, Editors: Amithisia , anakinpadmeforlife)

Padmé was sitting on the bed, her mind kept swirling around her conversation with Anakin, replaying it in her mind. Why did he always behave like that? Anakin always overreacted when it came to other men around her, Padmé just couldn't understand him, didn't she prove her unconditional love to him when she married him? She had known from the beginning that it was against the Jedi Code and she had been fully aware that their feelings could have fatal consequences for both of them. Frustrated Padmé got up and started to move around their bedroom full of resentment, Anakin knew how important her duty was to her, she was endangering her career every day and she also accepted that they lived a secret without anyone ever knowing. For instance she had always wanted to have a great wedding with her whole family being present, but Padmé knew that such a ceremony had been impossible. She also had not cared then; she always thought that their love would be enough. She would have the love of her life always beside her after all and that was just the prize she... they would have to pay and Padmé Amidala had willingly done so and with a life lasting promise she had married Anakin Skywalker. So wasn't that proof enough? She asked herself. Padmé wished she could return to the first months of their marriage, things had been much simpler then, she had been so happy at the beginning because they had lived in their own little bubble with just their undying love for each other and nothing else. Of course they would have fights like every couple, but the most ones, which had also been the worst, had always been about other men. He would lose his mind when she just stated that she had to go to a meeting because of political arrangements or he would just see her talking alone to a man at an what he would call "inappropriate" time and would assume things, especially when he was at home, wanting to spend time with her, and Anakin would request or even demand her whole time, if it was up to him she would just be occupied with him and nothing or no one else interrupting or disturbing them. Padmé rubbed her forehead stressed at all this unnecessary drama, why couldn't he just trust her, and why did he have the need to argue with her on his first day being home. Padmé sighed and let herself sink into the bed, it was just a matter of minutes till Anakin would come in, she just knew him too well.

As if he had sensed her thoughts he entered the room with a stern look on his face, Padmé knew that Anakin tried to hold a calm expression, but he failed completely. His blue eyes were glimmering icly and were staring at her coldy, she could see that he was trying hard to control his anger, but he was clenching his jaw and fists. Padmé straightened up and walked over to the other side of the room, she could feel his gaze upon her following her every move. She was just looking wordlessly at him, they just stared at each other for a short time, neither looking away, but keeping steady eye-contact, Padmé was well aware that Anakin was sure that she would be the first one to look away and she had done the exact thing many times in the past because she hated fighting with him and always treasured their rare moments, but this time she would not give in. She had to prove a point, they couldn't go on like this arguing about one thing over and over again. Padmé had hoped that he would change or just improve since the incident with Clovis, but clearly he had not, his jealousy was just getting worse to the point of often being suffocating. Padmé exhaled deeply, they were being childish, but she was sure that Anakin would not take his stare away without Padmé being the one stopping this silly game. It then surprised her all the more when he crossed his arms and began to speak up:

"This Palo guy seems to be very important to you, if you are standing your ground so much," he spoke almost mockingly, as Padmé wanted to start her response to his audacity, he raised his arm to stop her: "Do not tire yourself, I know you are just going to say: 'Anakin how can you even say that, you are just overreacting, why don't you trust me?' Wasn't that what you were going to say? Huh?, you were just going to hold a well prepared speech, but let me tell you something: You are not at the Senate, you are at home with your husband, just because I am not all the time here does not mean that when we are having a fight you can tell me to leave just to have me come back here, to your carefully written speech. Isn't that right Senator Amidala?" Shocked, Padmé looked at him, his tone was just chilling and he just smirked at her, but not that kind that always managed to make her stomach flutter with butterflies, instead it was cold and somehow even vicious. Padmé shuddered, she knew if she stayed in the same room as him their fight would turn into a huge screaming match, determined she decided to leave, as she started to move past him he blocked her way.