An angel of mine

My Angel

October 4, 2015

Almost 5 years since I first met you.

I never regret on meeting you.

I learn to be happy and be friendly after I met you.

We had so many times together not until you met her.

Your time with me decreases and further you become focus on her and not on me anymore.

We started to be a stranger at each other.

No talk, no chats or calls.

I was so in love with you back then.

I remember all the things I've done for you.

I even teach you in your lessons.

I was the one that's always there for you.

But you still chose her.

You are always asking me what you should give to her.

You know what, every time you are asking me about her

It makes my heart broke into pieces.

I am alive but I am dying inside.

Every time you're saying you're happy to meet her.

I am so thankful to you for breaking my heart.

I met him because of you.

It was a day that I was so desperate to finish my life.

Not until I met him, he helped me conquer everything.

He's always there for me when you're not here.

I started loving him as a friend.

Not until I realized that I was falling for you every time you're making me happy.

He confesses his feelings for me and start asking if he can court me

After 3 months, I gave him a sweet yes because he deserved it.

All I can say is I love you Gabriel.

Until I met my friend again.

He was about to commit but I stopped him.

Is this déjà vu?

"she just left me behind" he said while crying on my shoulder.

"I was so ready to lose everything for her" realizing I also said it.

"... I even lose my friend" said it while looking at me.

I looked away because it making us awkward.

"stand up it doesn't suit you" saying a metaphor to him.

"I am in love with you do you know that?" he said to me.

"I just feel that I don't have a chance back then"

"you don't know everything" I whispered.

"what do you mean?" he asked.

"I liked you back then but that's all in the past."

"why didn't you say anything?"

"Do I have to? You're so happy who am I to ruin it?" I said.

"Let's just end it" I walk away after saying it.

But you stopped me and kissed me.

I don't know what's happening right now I just can't stop myself from kissing back.

This is so wrong.

I stopped him and slapped him in the face.

"how dare you?" I yelled and tried to walk away but it stopped me when I see Gabriel looking at us.

I tried to chase him but he's just so very fast.

Until it happened.

He died because of the car crash.

And it's because of me.

"ma'am is you his girlfriend?" the nurse said

I just nod for an answer.

and give the things that Gabriel left behind.

I saw his things, his wallet, his id card and the last thing I saw make me cry.

It was a ring.

I think he was about to ask me.

I burst in tears when I see the ring.

"I'm sorry" said while crying.

After everything that happen.

I started moving on with just myself, no one but myself.

I monthly visit Gabriel still apologizing to what happened.

Still asking for forgiveness.

"Thank you for saving me my angel".