MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND | JIKOOK ✔

CHP 23

"You... we made l-love, Jeongguk," Jimin reminds him as he pulls away slowly, looking into the man's guilt filled eyes. "Y-You made love to me and then you threw m-me out of your house. Do you know how hurt I was? I f-felt wanted for once. For all of me. You broke my fucking heart and tore it from my chest... an-and then you left me alone."

"Just when I needed somebody the most... y-you left me," Jimin proceeds and his true feelings of anger begin to implode. "You fucking know he showed up at Officer Kim's house for me! He could have fucking killed me and you wouldn't have kn-known!" he weeps at the man but not only does he do that, he yells and hits at Jeongguk's chest.

"I'm sorry for k-killing So-Young! I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to save her! You deserve to be angry! You deserve to be sad but do you know what you did to me?" Jimin continues and at this point he's livid - the torrential downpour of an angry storm.

"You f-fucking broke me! Do you see where I am? Do you see what's in my fucking arm? Jeongguk, you destroyed me and my heart," the man finishes and he's flailing his arms at this point, hitting the policeman where he can and when he can.

And Jeongguk takes the hits. He let's the man spend his anger. Allows him to get it out of his system. And then the moment his actions quell - the moment he can no longer find the needed energy to keep hitting, he falls into the man's chest, weeping.

Jeongguk wraps his arms around Jimin. The guilt he feels right now is immeasurable to any form he's felt in the past. As he sits there and as Jimin's heartbreaking sobs flood right into his ears, he thinks of all of the thing's he's done wrong. All of the things he has accused Jimin of. He's a fucking moron, having had thrown him out like that. Like he was just some sort of quick fuck when he isn't. That's the last thing he is.

He's a human being. He has a heart - well, had a heart until Jeongguk decided to parade around with it and sever it the moment he thought his feelings mattered most. He was angry. He was instinctive and primal the second he heard his wife had been brutally murdered. His moral compass had broken completely and any coherent contemplation during that moment had drained from his body entirely. His thoughts were formed purely by the sweet inkling for revenge. By the bitter taste of anger and frustration.

His words were like sharp knives - cutting deep wounds the minute he decided to brandish them and allow them to fall from his tongue with zero discretion. He had become someone else. He had lost who he truly was.

"Jimin, I'm so sorry," Jeongguk starts. "I shouldn't have said what I said. I wasn't in the right headspace. I know that's no excuse but the news of So-Young being murdered broke me, too. I did what I thought was right at the moment - what made sense to me. I blamed you for things that weren't your fault. I envisiond you as the murderer - I was seeing red. But that's not what you are. You're just as much of a victim as she is. And me throwing you outside, fuck. That was a brainless move and I'm thankful Namjoon Hyung and Taehyung have been taking care of you."

"You don't have to accept my apology. You didn't murderer her, Jimin. You're innocent. Please, understand this. I don't have to see you anymore if that's what you'd like. I never intended to break you. All I wanted to do was possibly fix you. If you don't want me to, I don't have to protect you anymore. You can stay with Officer Kim. I understand completely," Jeongguk intones, watching as Jimin slowly lifts his head.

The teacher is staring into Jeongguk's glossed over eyes. The man has tear trails along his cheeks - something Jimin has never seen before. His doe eyes harbour nothing but sincerity and regret. Shame and remorse. His words are real - they're true and Jimin can tell.

He wants to pull the policeman in for a deep kiss. He wants to forgive him right now but he knows that he just can't. He needs time. How much, he isn't sure. But it still hurts. Everything proceeds to ache, even if the throb is faint.

"I... I can't just yet," he murmurs, voice hoarse and spent. "I'm sorry, I need time."

Jeongguk nods his head in understanding although the teacher can tell he was hoping for a different response. Yet he doesn't push for it. He knows just how much damage he did. Jimin isn't the adorable clumsy teacher he first met at the cafe. He's on constant alert, always disheveled and aware. He can't even remember the last time he's seen the teacher smile. And God, he misses it so fucking much.

He misses Jimin and it's all his fault.

"Of course you do. You don't have to apologize to me, Jimin. Do you want me to call Officer Kim or Taehyung? I can have either of them come and pick you up, if you'd like," the man offers while pulling out his phone.

But he's stopped and a small hand lands on his own. It's so subtle yet his skin sparks aflame and his eyes wander to Jimin's tired gaze.

"...I feel safer with you," he starts and pulls his hand away, looking down into his lap. "Um, if I could still maybe stay at your place? Just... give me some space," Jimin asks, voice still gruff and on the verge of nothingness.

Jeongguk's answer to the question is clear as day yet he can't seem to get the words out. He's baffled that Jimin still wants to stay with him after the stunt he pulled a couple days ago. But he's capable of giving space and making sure that he's safe simultaneously and so that's what he'll do.

"Yeah, I can do that," Jeongguk agrees, smiling softly toward him yet not getting one in return. "They say they need to keep you an extra day to monitor your vitals but you should be able to be discharged by tomorrow morning, okay?" he explains.

Jimin while clearly being in disagreement decides to nod his head begrudgingly. He stares down at the IV drip still in his arm and he sighs quietly, falling back down into his pillows. His eyes are heavy as they begin to close and eventually Jeongguk is given no choice but to assume the teacher has fallen back asleep - good for him, he needs it.

Jeongguk gives the man one last painful glance before he exits his hospital room and falls into the wall just beside his door, exhaling heavily. He still needs to wipe away the wetness enveloping his cheeks and does so quickly, not wanting anyone to see. A weighted exhale parts his lips and he stares down at his watch, figuring it's probably about time he heads back to the station. Jimin wants him to keep a safe distance and although Jeongguk isn't exactly sure what that entails he doesn't want to risk pushing any boundaries.

He's about to pocket his phone but he receives a text from Officer Kim explaining to him that he doesn't have to leave the hospital because his reasoning is actually valid.

Jeongguk replies quickly and stuffs his phone back in his pocket. He runs his hand down his face and grazes his jaw, looking  back at Jimin's hospital room door.

He enters it once again and makes his way to the corner where he sits in a chair and watches over his sleeping figure.

He doesn't sleep. He made a promise he isn't going to break.