Her Broken Dream [√]

Chapter 36: " Past, Present and Future"

Few days Later

Gauri was good at avoidance, she masked her pain often behind silence, she masked her hurt behind a smile and most often she kept her thought close to her heart that no one ever knew what went through her mind except him, it was why she is using her avoidance tactic against him for the past few days.

Lavanya wedding was approaching near which led her to be missing often when Arnav came to visit Rahul, because she was still not convinced on what to do about their future anymore, the past few weeks she had been thinking of letting him go and yet unwilling to do so and as the time for Lavanya wedding grew nearer her fear increased all over again.

Even now sitting in the Maheshwari house once again for the Mehendi function of Lavanya wedding which will be followed by the Sangeeth later that day, she was thinking about him even when he was not anywhere near her. Her mother had asked Gauri to tell him the entire truth and let him decide on what to do about their future, then there was Rahul who is so taken with Arnav, she never wants to separate them.  And then there was her heart which still loves him and the few moment of desire that made her feel alive in his arms as well

So tell me your husband's name, the Mehendi designer asked and she said the name out loud as if willing to let this day end soon, she was already nervous about tonight Sangeeth and wondered if Arnav will dance with her again, how will she avoid him, if she was dancing in his arms that it took her a moment to notice the sudden stillness in the room.

Until now the room had been filled with laughters and people talking non stop that silence bothered her until she glanced around the room and see the focus was on her, She had no idea why everyone was looking at her until her eyes landed on Lavanya her best friend who was close to tears, what did she do , she had no idea that she asked Kavya who was seated beside her about it .

"What happened?" Gauri whispered to Kavya who had been more of an ally to her in the recent weeks, they have been friends all their life but somehow in the recent weeks they have bonded more than before whether it was to keep Lavanya happy and occupied during the wedding functions  and if she need to be rescued from any guests well meaning questions, Kavya would be there for her and divert the attention from her .

Gauri was fortunate Kavya had been willing to use her Actress fame to help Gauri not be overburdened by the guests and their questions.

"Nothing, you said Arun name when asked about your husband " Kavya answered back and she realized why everyone was looking at her . 

Gauri had been introduced as Arnav's wife everywhere that Arun name would have stood out, but the fact she had been married to Arun for 4 years left it mark that his name had been on her lips subconsciously.

She didn't have an answer to the guest curious glance that she got up and left the room, wishing to erase the slip of her tongue, she didn't expect footsteps to follow her.  The brief hope it could have been Kavya or someone else vanished when the bride to be followed her.

" It had become a habit. I was thinking something else  " Gauri spoke up first as if hoping her best friend won't ask anymore questions.

" I am sorry Gauri, I can't imagine what you went through when he died.  In trying not to hurt you , I had never even asked if you were okay when I asked you to be around for my wedding. This must all bring forth the memory of your first wedding right " Lavanya asked Gauri , her face filled with concern.

" Everything moved fast after Arun's  death, the court case.  My marriage with Arnav , Rahul custody and your wedding , I barely register anything anymore Lavanya.  It feels like I am constantly moving ahead that I hardly began to accept he was gone yet , I didn't really mourn his death yet and in trying to ensure Rahul was fine ,I hadn't grieved properly either , we have been married for four years, it not a surprise his name is ingrained in my mind, but you don't have to worry that your wedding is making me sad because that is not the truth, I am so happy to be here for you even if I am somewhat never really here emotionally sometimes.  It just that I have too much on my mind " Gauri answered back and hugged her best friend willing her to stop worrying about Gauri.