Tyler's

45.

Tyler,

I was reading this book series. They're pretty good books. I guess.
So there was a line I found in it.
Love made us liars...

If you were here, I would discuss it with you like the other topics we spoke about. But well, looks like it's going to remain one sided.

I actually agree. And I know you might not since you never felt the need to. But there was another line, not applicable to all;
Not being able to trust the ones you love...

I can imagine you saying that love needs to be open. It needs to have the strong trust from both sides. Because that's what you've always experienced. Even with Claire, your friends, us. And of course, Blue.

But don't you think sometimes, it's more than that? More than the bond just being a loyalty test?
Sometimes people lie to not hurt their loved ones. You also did. But that lie is different. It's like ignorance is bliss.
Which in most cases, it's not.

I can't trust many people. I choose not to. But when I do trust anyone or even tell them a little, I expect them to accept it without hesitations. Because if I trust you, I trust you whole. Thinking you're going to keep it. And maybe, trust me too.

Maybe that's the reason why not many people know much about what exactly happened. In fact, none. Alive at least.
Except for you. You know some and this other person knows a little. I don't know why I told them. Maybe I thought they would accept it like I want people to. Without judgement and hesitations.
Or maybe I just thought they might understand. I don't know. It was new for me too since I don't know them for long and I don't know much about them.
And you because I guess I trusted you too much. But I'm glad I did since you're the one who could actually understand and not feel pity or not regret talking to me.

Today, it was CHB's birthday. Yup, the bastard finally turned 17. Funny thing is, I didn't remember it. I realised what date it was quite later than I expected to.
I had to go and walk Jerry thrice today. In the damn cold. And I made wonderful observations. His house was filled with white, pink, yellow balloons and I don't know what other colours. They were light shades. Plus it was dark outside and the light from the house was a little blinding.
There's a huge tree in his yard. It was covered with tiny fairy lights. It all looked so pretty.
Yes, I know it's a 17 year old guy's party but still. The dance floor and cook out grill was enough proof there is going to be loud music.

Last year, I spotted his best friend with his girlfriend in the alley near where I live. They are kinda cute together. Since they started dating until now, our dear CHB got around 4 flings?! I don't know...

I still write to you. Not knowing whether these even get to you now or not. And even though you said Blake will read out each and every letter, I'm having my doubts.
But I still will write them, just in case they're only ignoring the messages.

If you've told them to stay away, to make it easier then I repeat, it doesn't.
It increases the worry.
Plus I need that mail. So bad...

I got to know that when you and Chichi spoke that day, you caught on one topic really well. Queen. I guess I won't have to explain much now.
Yes, thanks to my stupidity, they are now on talking terms. I'll take the credit, yay. He gave her a name. Iten.
Irha the epic nerd. Nice no? And also, for some reason everyone calls her Barbie and she gets annoyed.

He made up a good quote today. It was;
The ones not strong enough to get a blade near their skin are the ones strong enough to face the problem...

Yeah, he writes well. I won't say much or it might feed his ego. I might show your poems to him someday. He would like them. Maybe.
He's kind off crazy though. But then who isn't? He's interesting to talk to. Sometimes when we go beyond the "hm", "uh hmm" and all.
See? One the things I loved about you. Never let an awkward moment linger. But then, you are Cam...

I keep telling you I love you. I do. Always and Forever.
Yours,
Gazz