Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

43

Maki followed me after, patting my back to help me out. "I really prefer keeping you here, he'd be scolding you and me once he sees us there." I shake my head and flushed the toilet.

We both got ready and headed out, I locked the door and we got in her car. I made myself comfortable as much as I could, panting and gasping for air to breathe. She played music and my mood literally did a flip, I started crying when the music played.

Maki didn't get flustered or panicked, she must've helped Honami during her pregnancy. She's probably used to the mood swings and to the throwing up, feeling down and useless. She's like the foster father of Mitsuki, she's been through everything with Honami— best best friend anyone could ever have.

I don't know what else I could do for myself, I literally feel like shit and it's annoying. Every time I see myself in the mirror I just feel like breaking down, wanting to curse that stupid reflection for being so hideous and useless. I feel so irritated every time I see my reflection, then the next thing you'll see is me smiling because he called me pretty.

The traffic wasn't really heavy, it was okay. We got through very fast and we're already parked right by the company. There are many reporters outside and inside, I can see Shinjiro and Naoki from here. They look like they're having trouble with keeping them controlled.

We tried going to the underground parking and there were reporters there too. Everyone's trying to get pieces of information from Kenma as much as they could, I already feel like I'm suffocating. Guards are hired to keep the reporters away but they're persistent.

Seeing the situation kinda made me think that I should just go home. But I really want to stay with him, even if I wouldn't be working. Kenma's more famous than I think he is, it's crazy to see that there are many people that are trying to get answers from him.

I couldn't compare myself to his fans— models and celebrities, prettier and better than me. I got nothing that could be better than them. Kenma's got pretty girls all around him but he stikl chooses me— why? Maybe I really should just go home..

I'm scrolling through Instagram and I've viewed stories of models reacting to the news.. models, fans, celebrities.. They're all talking about it. How is Kenma so famous with people that are incredibly well-known? He's just a YouTuber! What does modeling and acting have to do with him??

"Are you degrading yourself again?" I look at Maki and she stole my phone from me. "Kenma doesn't care about models, celebrities and other girls out there. You're already engaged and you're pregnant with his child. He waited for you for almost 4 years, started YouTube and a company just for you. Would fight anyone who insults you. Loved you even when you couldn't remember who he is." Is she making me feel guilty?

"Don't make me feel guilty...." She gave me a dumbfounded look, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I just.. they're all so sexy and gorgeous, look at me. I'm hideous." I say, frowning with pouted lips and furrowed brows, tears randomly rolling down my cheeks.

"Pregnant women are a handful.. okay. How about we call him and tell him your here?" I smile and nod. "Mood switch."

I dialed his number, putting my phone up to my ear to speak to him. It's just ringing.. I try again, biting my bottom lip and my fingernail as I waited. I grew anxious when he wasn't answering his phone. Where is he? Is he mad at me? Does he not want to talk to me?

I turn to Maki, about to burst into tears again but she suggested to call the telephone instead. I try calling the telephone, hearing it just ring again and again. No one's picking up.. I try again, crying when it's been ringing for a long time now but no one's answering the phone.