Chapter 24: The look of love

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Jasper just nods slightly, trying his best to plaster a smile on his face. He felt a little nauseous for some reason. Maybe he was just hungry. But he knew deep down what was making him feel this way. Jasper was envious. He was jealous of Tom spending time with Zeke and after what Thomas said about him and Zeke making out, Jasper didn't want Zeke to go to that place. He didn't want anyone else to kiss Thomas like he had done and then the bombshell finally dropped. 

He had feelings for the older. But not just the lustful physical ones like before, although he still had those, but the other kind. The kind he couldn't explain so easily. Fuck! Is this love?

***

"Just be careful of the shells sweetie." Molly warns Jasper. He had been charged with cracking eggs into a ceramic bowl for the cake mix. Even Jasper thought it a risk to charge him with such a task, but he knew Molly well enough now that she was probably challenging him. Not necessarily with how to crack open an egg without the shell falling in the bowl, but more so challenging his patience and resilience. So far, all was well. 

Jasper had hardly spoken that morning, not since learning Thomas was off on a two day trip with Zeke. 

Molly looks at Jasper, whose mind is clearly elsewhere as another chunk of shell falls into the bowl unnoticed. "Sweetie, how about you take a little break?" She suggests, taking the last two eggs from his hands and nodding in the direction of the kitchen table, where a plate of cookies had been sitting idle. 

"Ok" Jasper nods and walks to the table, taking a cookie from the plate, sitting down and eating it as if in a trance. 

Molly half looks at Jasper as she cracks the last two eggs into the bowl. "Your mood is like a swing this morning sweetie. Are you sure you're alright?" 

Jasper just replies with a "mhm" as he stuffs the remainder of the cookie in his mouth and reaches out to grab another. 

Molly discards the used eggshells and grabs a whisk from the hook hanging under the shelf. She looks at Jasper again, just staring expressionless at the table. "Is it because I mentioned you looking like you're in love?" She asks cautiously, not wanting to ruffle his feathers.

"Molly I'm not in love with anybody. I've not seen anyone." He doesn't shout but Molly can tell she shouldn't bring it up again. She would just have to be patient and wait for him to talk to her. 

Jasper has had the same thoughts circle in his brain all morning, like sharks in uncharted waters. Love, jealousy, jealousy, love. He wondered how Molly could tell so easily. "Molly?" Jasper utters in a low tone.

"Mm?" Molly replies. She can tell he is about to divulge something a little deeper, but doesn't want to make it obvious, so just carries on with weighing out some butter. It reminded her a little of when Thomas told her in secret, when he was 14 that he had feelings for boys. 

"Why did you say it looked like I was in love?" Jasper asks, evidently feeling the nervousness of the question as he starts to fiddle with the edge of the table cloth. 

"Oh it's nothing really." Molly tries to play it down. "It's just you reminded me a little of myself when I fell for your uncle." 

"What do you mean?" Jasper asks. Looking up slightly. 

"When I realised I had feelings for Jim , the way I saw the world changed. I began to see the beauty in everything. Something as silly as how the clouds formed in the sky. It's silly I know...anyway, how you were, reminded me of that, but I know a good rest can make you feel like that too!" She adds.

Molly gives Jasper a smile before dropping the butter into a bowl with some already measured sugar. He could see how embarrassed she was just talking about his uncle in that way. He wanted to know more. "Molly, when did you realise you loved uncle?"

Molly eventually stops her cake making and sits opposite Jasper at the table. This tale she couldn't tell whilst multi tasking…

"Well...I've known Jim  for a while. Since I was a child I guess. Not personally. We in the village, knew him as the 'fiery farmer'. Jim later told me that he has lived here all his life, your mother used to live here too, and it was your grandparents farm. Anyways, your mother left after meeting your father and when your grandfather died and your grandmother became unwell, she got taken into hospital long term. It left your uncle here to manage everything by himself. I guess that's why he was so fiery all the time. I mean he was in his late 20s at the time.

Anyways, a few years ago, I needed some extra money and your uncle was hiring fruit pickers, so I worked here over the summer. 

He was physically attractive from the start and I guess we just started talking. He wasn't as scary as people made out and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. That's when I knew that it was the start of love. 

I love the way he makes me feel. Protected, he makes me feel special. I feel safe in his arms and I know he feels the same about me."

Molly now places a hand on Jasper's arm. "Sweetie, when you are in love, you don't have to think too much about it. You just know. And nothing can stop it. When you're in love, you're just in love." 

Jasper nods quietly. He doesn't speak. Her words had said it all. Jasper is in love. He's in love with Thomas!

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