Perfectly Imperfect

nineteen > > of fairy dust and floating.

prompt nineteen: write a scene you would feel exhilarated to write.

alternate prompt: write a scene where only three words are spoken. 

I always tell myself that I don't care about you. I tell myself that you are nothing to me. I tell myself everything I ever thought I felt for you was a total joke. And sometimes I can be thoroughly convincing. I can feel the tides shifting within my own body, the water that seems to be strangling me moving back in perfect waves. I can breathe a bit easier. 

This feeling is always short-lived. You always comes back. You always shatter my perception of what I thought was true, make me question my entire stance. You make me quiver and crumble, as though I am an aging building just begging to fall. You always make me fall. 

I have convinced myself that my walls are built up sturdy and straight. I am the architecture and I have built myself upon concrete. I have convinced myself I can never crumble. Then your fingers touch my cheek and I realize I am built upon stardust and I am withering away ever so slowly. It doesn't hurt like it should, the disappearing.

No, it almost feels like floating.

It only takes three words to make me crumble. Three words for the cracks in my foundation to turn into holes and suck me in.

You whisper them that night, locked in the bathroom of some dingy night club.  Your breath smells like whiskey and coke and you are a complete wreck, your hair disheveled and your clothes rumpled. 

You whisper them when we are kissing and your hand crawls along my neck ever so slowly and the whole world is silent except your voice.

You whisper them when the whole world is folding in our bedroom and you feel like you could stay in bed forever. 

You whisper them when your best friend dies and we have to go to the funeral and you don't want to. 

You whisper them when you don't even really mean them.

"I need you." 

They are just words to you, but they turn me to fairy dust.  

I float away on a cloud of those words.