Before It Ends • Hessa • Emery Scott

𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

She probably wouldn't even help me. If I told her personal shit, she would probably die; If I told her about Chris or possibly about how Cole makes me feel giddy. She'll make me feel like I'm committing a fucking murder. it's simply easier to just leave her be and ignore her.

Once I get out of the house I pull my red plaid flannel from my bag and slip it on, I see Cole walking from his house across my yard and I wonder why he doesn't just use the sidewalk. Not that I care if he walks on our grass. "Why don't you put your jacket on inside? It'll save you from getting cold."

"Because my mom will make a big deal that I'm wearing colors. She might even take a few photos while she's at it."

He huffs an amused chuckle, "gotcha." He then holds up a CD without a cover and I lift my eyebrows.

"That's it? One CD?"

He nods and gets in the passenger side, I in the drivers. I press the CD button and he places it inside the slot. It sucks the CD into its machine, and I can't help but be a little nervous. What if it's actually good? Damn it, then I'll have it stuck in my head...

This is me singing. I wrote this. ^ (imagine a guy singing lol)

Something starts to play, something that sounds like a heartbeat. Then piano, and a voice that sounds familiar, "what kind of friend would I be if I just moved on,"

I lift my eyebrows and turn to Cole to see him examining my reaction with a red face. "Attended your funeral just because you're gone." It sings. What the fuck?

Soon the beat changes to a happier beat, "all the stories that you told, about your future when we grow old." The lyrics are still deep but the beat is lighter more happier. I smile softly. Okay, maybe this is good.

"Do you like it?" He asks, and I think for a moment.

Suddenly the entire song goes quiet, and seconds later it's just a piano. "Take a look in the mirror what do you see?"

I think about all the times I have looked in the mirror and seen someone else staring back at me. The first time I gave myself to Chris as payment: My hair was disheveled and I had rings under my eyes from lack of sleep. My stomach was churning with anxiety, guilt, and regret, and my face was so pale I looked like a fucking ghost. The time I found out Tailey slept with my boyfriend: My eyes were bloodshot red and my fists were white with anger. My nose was scrunched and my eyes were red with fury.  And worst of all, the time I gazed into the mirror and what gazed back was the purple and blue bruise on my face from—

"Em, you okay?" Cole asks, leaning towards me and I look away quickly once I feel a tear escape my eye. I wipe them, and I nod my head.

"Good song, Neighbor Boy." I say simply, putting the car in gear and quickly, probably even dangerously, pulling out of the driveway. I want to get to school quickly so I can get out of this fucking suffocating car.

He stays silent for a moment before nodding. "Um..." he stutters and I don't have the strength to look over at him. "I wrote it."

I smile softly. Of course he did. Of course he wrote a song that gets to me emotionally. It's as if he knows everything about me without me needing to tell him a single thing. That's what makes his presence so comforting. I feel like he understands without judgement even though he doesn't know anything that I've done. If he did... he wouldn't stay around for much longer.