Everlong

77

"It's not my doing. I can't actually feel anything from my shoulder downwards." Liruliniel explained, Thranduil understood where her bitterness laid then. She bowed her head and nodded slowly, Thranduil leaned up and tilted her head back up, he wasn't all too surprised to see her eyes filled with tears. Liruliniel scrunched her nose, she tried to smile but all that did was cause tears to finally escape. "It's hit me."

"I did wonder when it would." Thranduil replied softly, the last battle they'd been in had been as bad, they both equaled, but she had ridden a high of relief before crashing. And she really did crash. It was the same here. Her relief and happiness over everyone being well and good had ebbed away to realisation.

"I think I did a lot of reckless things."

"But without doing so, I believe a few would've died." Thranduil said, hoping she'd get the hint. If she didn't do certain things, Thorin and his nephews would definitely not be here now. Liruliniel brushed the back of her hand over her eyes with a laugh. She sounded a bit happier now, Thranduil was relieved of that, even if she did still look sad.

Shaking her head and looking around the tent, Liruliniel stared long and hard at the armour to one side. Even Thranduil glanced over before looking back up at her. Liruliniel opened her mouth and shut it, thinking of the words she looked tearfully down at him. "True. But I think recently I have done a lot of reckless things; a lot of unnecessary things. I needlessly went hunting for trouble within our home. I idiotically faced a dragon. I went running head first into battle without much of a worry. Then I, without even a second thought, sacrificed all of myself to save Thorin. I know my actions bought good, in a way. But it is awful for me to say, that only a few times I thought of how you would be if things went sour. And for that I feel dreadful. I am so sorry, Thranduil. I am so sorry that I have acted so ridiculously, and idiotically."

Thranduil raised an eyebrow, he wasn't expecting this much retrospective. Inhaling slowly he stood, Liruliniel looked up at him, biting her bottom lip looking almost worried about his reply. He wiped a thumb under her eye and looked to the tent doorway, he shut it late last night but he could see shadows flitting, people were busying with some task or another. "It is what you do, you do the ridiculous and idiotic. You always have done. Do I expect to always be at the forefront of your mind? No, of course I do not. It has taken me a long time to accept that your care, your heart is for everyone. Your actions are for the good of our lands. It just so happens, that in this instance I have relented and will have to accept sharing." Thranduil said while nodding his head to the side, he held out a hand and helped her stand.

Liruliniel smiled his way, her eyes narrowing slightly when he opened the tent flaps and the sunlight hit her. It was warm out, she couldn't help but be struck with how ironic it was in a way; yesterday, the weather reflected the mood of everything and everyone, it was dreadful, foggy in some areas, drizzling in others. The sun did not shine until the end, and even then it was the late afternoon, it would've been the last of the sunlight in a day. And now, now the new day had bought with it warmth, sun and not a sight of a rain cloud or fog.

Thranduil didn't rush her, he just stood there and let her take it in, to get her bearings before smiling his way. Thranduil took that as his cue, he started leading her away. It seemed like most of the tents had been taken down, the only ones that were still up were the ones which had been formed into field healer rooms. The smells of incense, herbs, and the less pleasant smells from the injured and dying could be smelt. Liruliniel paused, she rubbed a hand to her temple before almost doubling over herself. If Thranduil wasn't holding her, Liruliniel probably would've just gone face planting the mud.

"Imrathon! Please...where is he?" Liruliniel looked up at him with pleading eyes, she was mentally kicking herself. What an idiot! The elf had been with her on and off on the battlefield, they had fought together, lost each and reunited only to depart again. "Please tell me he is not still out there, if he is...I will have to go out there, no-!" Liruliniel's voice was getting a little hysterical, she even tried to go walking back to the battlefield, only for him to grasp onto her a little tighter and stop her. "Thranduil, please let me go!"