We didn't start of well, now that I look back at it I blame myself and the universe.
Myself because I was in a relationship I tagged as the best thing that ever happened to me when we met and I thought it was my forever, I was wrong. I should have known I was wrong from the start, you can't love someone and let someone else touch you, or can you? Maybe. But I am not that kind of girl. I definitely ain't, not because I have anything against those type of girls. They have their principles and I have mine. Mine is love.
I believe in love, soulmates and romance. I always believed no matter what you are or who you are once you are in love everything is fixed. Beauty and the beast. Snow White. Cinderella.
Love was made in my head to be this miracle. It fixes and mends and heals. Love heals. All about love.
When I believed in God I believed he created love so when our lives are crumbling we'd have it to hold on to, when I stopped believing in God It was the only thing that still made me slightly believe. Romance is the easiest genre for me to write, it's the genre that speaks most to me. Any book or movie with that genre no matter the language or sexuality I am totally up for it.
I wrote the best love letters in highschool, got me a lot of insults and bullying but now I am pretty sure they'd swoon or run for their lives but that don't matter.
I just love love. Romance movies and romance books always shows the biggest of problems and how love solved.
The main guy and the main girl always end up together, even after death or in death, even when one or both dies. Romeo and Juliet. The titanic.
They always find a way back to each other.
I guess I was deceived
I thought I was but I am not
Love does exist.
And everythingI have read and watched, they are true.
Love finds a way. Always.
The book doesn't always tell us of the main girls first love that she thought was her forever and how broken she was when it ended.
The movies never show what happened when the main guy used to believe in love how that one girl who he thought was his everlasting left him wrecked.
I have a point I am leading to...
You don't know that some relationships that have failed isn't because they weren't In love.
It's because they thought other things were more important
If you love someone the person should be the most important
And if they love you it should be same.
It's hard because life has plans for you; work, school, family and everything in between but it can take your time but not take your love.
I do believe in love, and I did before we existed and I'd like to think and hope that we remain in existence.
I love you and I believe in love and soulmate and romance.
A relationship that you can't be yourself and trust your partner to always catch you.
Isn't a relationship that's worth fighting for
I always believed love can fix all
I still do.
That's why with that intense love for love I should have know I wasn't in love before you. I wouldn't like your touch so much, your caresses, your kisses. They felt forbidden and exhilarating against my skin. I loved them too much to hate them.
We had met at a small gathering. My memory is foggy but I recall little, he was beautiful admittedly but very cold. Your definition of brooding and hot, mysterious and cold. I was intrigued. I had dated so much in my life yet never dated a guy that didn't seem phased by me. I wasn't what you would call irresistible but I mastered the art of seduction. Dazzling smile, mischievous twinkle in my brown eyes and a body language that screams "when you are ready come and get it".
Yet HE hated me. Or so I thought and I had swore to make the cold bad boy fall for me. I even had a bet with my best friends, dramatic and quite exciting. Well I succeeded and I got the bad boy were I wanted him, or did I? I did, but in the process I fell for the bad boy.
Feelings started getting mixed, that was another clear sign I wasn't in love, I'd have denied my boyfriend for him and I did, several damn times. I even staged a breakup. I wasn't in love, I wasn't even in like, I was just lonely and now I realize I just wanted to be loved. We had various affairs but that's not why I fell in love with him.
The first time I had looked at him with an emotion other than hate was the day he smiled at me. Have you ever seen a smile that left you dumbstruck? Mesmerized? In awe? That was it. I spoke about his smile all night that night. He didn't know though. He couldn't. A smile prettier than mine. Could it be the bad boy played my own tricks on me?
He started opening up and I saw myself in him, broken, hurt, scared and scarred. We were alike and we needed love but I was stuck with someone I thought I loved. That's honestly the worse mistake I ever made, not choosing him,when he continuously chose me. I look back now and there are a lot I could have done better but I lost it all and I feel pain utterly.
Well that's how we started, it started with music, a dare, a smile, and a rainy night.
